


Traditions

by Wesz



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Fluff, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Slow Build, Special
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-08 19:28:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8857894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wesz/pseuds/Wesz
Summary: Lydia has decided to invite everyone for a special Christmas celebration weekend at her family's lake house, but Liam doesn't like Christmas. To make matters worse, they each have to come up with a personal tradition that they'd like to celebrate, and Liam fears his is very lame. On top of that, he's massively crushing on Scott. Sweet, adorable -  but mostly confusing - Scott.





	1. Friday

**Author's Note:**

> I know my writing for the Sciam fandom has been on and off over the past years. I also know my contributions are experimental, and whereas some of my stories are better than others, being able to experiment in this space has been an amazing (and valuable) experience. So, in the holiday spirit, I decided to write a Christmas Sciam Special, something I have never done before. This is my thank you to everyone who has read my stories; who has stuck by through the enormous time gaps between updates, who has voiced their appreciation of my writing, and who has fuelled my inspiration by submitting prompts. I’m aware this fandom is very small compared to other fandoms, but I do feel deeply connected to it, mainly because of how lovely you all are. So, this one is dedicated to you, dear reader. I’ll be posting it over the Christmas weekend, starting on Friday 23 December, linear to the narrative time in the story. So watch this space, because it’s happening!
> 
> P.S. Don't worry, the story is finished. I won't flake out on you. :P

Liam didn’t like Christmas. He didn’t like buying presents for his parents. He didn’t like being obligated to spend time with his family. To him, it was all too much of a hassle. Too forced.

Even now, on his way to spending a Christmas-related weekend with his friends, he felt stressed.

Lydia had come up with the idea at the start of December. Her family’s lake house was empty over winter, so it would be the perfect opportunity for them to spend time together. Of course it was Christmas themed – Lydia loved Christmas – and of course there had to be a special twist to it – Lydia loved special twists.

So, over the span of Friday to Monday, they would all get to host an activity, something big or something small, to do with the gang. The only condition was that it had to be related to their own Christmas traditions. Everyone had been excited at the idea; Stiles, Kira, Malia, even Mason. And obviously Scott. Liam doubted the guy would give up on any opportunity to spend time with his friends, because that was Scott, always sympathetic, caring, and loving.

Which brought Liam to the second dilemma of this Christmas getaway (more like, get him away): spending four full days and three full nights with Scott. Not _with_ with Scott – although that idea did appeal to him (God, why?!) – but continuously near Scott. Not that he disliked Scott (if only, it would make this whole ordeal about forty times easier), quite the opposite in fact.

Liam liked Scott.

And, you know what? Sitting in Stiles’ jeep, pretending to stare out the window but actually occasionally glancing at his object of interest, he had to admit, how could he not? Scott was great. He was considerate, good looking, gentle, trusting, dorky, and friendly. There was no way in hell anyone could not like him. Well, you could, you could despise him for having all these wonderful traits, these wonderful friends, and this wonderful personality. You could despise him for being ‘too perfect’.

Liam knew. After all, he had tried. God, he had tried so hard _not_ to like Scott. He had been cocky during their first lacrosse practices (he still remembers his and Stiles’ gob-smacked look when he told them he was “just that good”), he had been distant when their friendship had started (a.k.a. occasionally snapping and telling him to get lost), and he had tried very hard not to be alone with him in the same room (which proved incredibly difficult when he came home one day after having received another bad mark in History to find Scott at his kitchen table, bearing chocolates, of course). But it hadn’t made any difference, because even when you thought Scott was too perfect, he would suddenly come out and tell you about all the terrible flaws he had (midnight snacking, worrying too much, stealing Stiles’ Star Wars DVDs so they didn’t have to watch them anymore – as if those were flaws), you still couldn’t dislike someone who was perfectly likeable. Frustrating as that was. So, to keep himself in check, Liam been trying out a new strategy to keep his feelings from developing, which included quietly calling Scott names, hoping that he wouldn’t hear.

“Dick.”

“What, bro?” Mason asked, turning towards him in the backseat.

Shit. Abort. Abort. Different tactic. Different tactic.

“Oh, err…” he stammered. “Sick. I feel a little sick. You know, from the long car ride.”

“Don’t worry. We’re almost there,” Scott said, twisting his neck in an awkward position so he could smile at him.

Liam’s heart sank a little.

See? Case in point.

Yet, the most interesting (he didn’t know if it was good or bad) aspect about liking Scott was that he had no clue how Scott felt about him. Have you ever liked someone who’s nice? It’s terrible! They give you hugs, tell you you’re their friend, and show how grateful they are about having you in their life, leaving you completely clueless. How was Liam supposed to know if any of those things indicated toward a feeling rooted more deeply, if Scott did all of those things to everyone around him? It made Liam feel like he was being cheated on, except for it wasn’t cheating, because Scott probably had no idea! He made him… He made him feel like a toy. Yes, that’s what it was. Scott was toying with him.

Wait, had he just found one of Scott McCall’s flaws?

But in all fairness, Liam had to admit liking Scott wasn’t the worst thing on Earth, because that was all it was – a liking. He was sure that if he could keep it from developing into anything more, he wouldn’t have a problem. _They_ wouldn’t have a problem.

So, yes, you can see how it was all very stressful. Liam had to pretend to like Christmas and pretend to not like Scott. If he could swap the two around, everything would be perfect.

“The forecast said it’s likely to snow tomorrow,” Mason mentioned, breaking through the silence in the jeep.

“That’d be nice,” Scott replied. Liam saw him throwing a sneaky grin at Stiles. Those two were up to something, he knew, quickly suppressing the cheated-on feeling that instantly bubbled up within him. “We can have a white Christmas,” Scott added.

Mason scoffed. “Already having one anyway.”

Scott looked at him, not understanding, but Liam snickered behind the palm of his hand.

“As long as it doesn’t snow tonight,” Stiles said.

“Why not tonight?” Liam asked.

Stiles grinned. “Because it would disrupt how I want to celebrate.”

“Well it’s definitely something outside then,” Mason mentioned.

Stiles remained quiet.

On the right hand side of the car, the lake suddenly appeared from behind the trees. It was frozen over. Apparently it had been one of the coldest winters so far, so Liam wasn’t surprised. Still, it was a magnificent sight. Normally the water would break up the sunlight in a hundred shimmers, but now its ice was lying upon the surface like a mirror, reflecting the light. Pure and wholesome.

Maybe that was what Liam ought to do: throw up a wall of ice around his heart. Freeze Scott out. With the constant reminder of it being winter that shouldn’t be too hard. Yes, that’s what he was going to do. He was going to freeze his heart. No feelings. No dislike towards Christmas, no liking towards Scott. Swapping them. Problem solved.

They arrived at the Martin’s lake house a few minutes later. It was mostly made of brick, but had wooden framing around the side, making it look very rustic. Branches cracked under the wheels of Stiles’ jeep as he parked next to Lydia’s car. She, Kira, and Malia had arrived a little before them to already start setting up.

The boys pulled their duffle bags out of the back – Stiles made sure no one could peek at the stuff that had been hidden under multiple blankets – and made their way over to the front door, which was open.

“Happy Christmas!” Lydia shrieked when the four of them stepped in, running up and pulling each into a deep hug. “Right. First things first. Let me show you to your rooms.” Her voice was cheery. “Malia and Kira are just putting their stuff away in ours. After you have settled in, please dress in your most comfortable attire.”

“Does that mean naked?” Stiles whispered to Scott.

“I’ll hurt you.” Lydia smiled warningly. “You’re not messing this weekend up for me.”

The staircase was at the back of the living room, bending to the left halfway. Liam, Mason, Scott, and Stiles followed her up.

“Scott and Stiles, this is yours,” her voice trailed off as she opened the door. “The bathroom is over there,” she smiled, pointing at the end of the hallway. “Oh, and don’t forget to put all of your Christmas presents in the spare room downstairs.” The boys smiled and stepped into their room. Liam and Mason followed her one door down.

“And, this one is for you two.”

“Thanks for asking us to come along, Lyds,” Mason said as he threw his bag on the left bed.

“Well of course! You guys are part of the gang,” Lydia replied.

Liam sat down on his bed, on the other side of the room.

“She’s so sweet,” Mason said when Lydia had closed the door behind her.

Liam hummed.

“Thinking about Scott?”

Liam gave him a look. “Can we not?”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to talk about it. In fact, I don’t even want to think about it.”

“I think it’s great that you like him. He’s a great guy.”

Liam turned towards his bag, so Mason couldn’t see him roll his eyes. “I know. Scott’s perfect,” he grumbled.

Mason sat down beside him. “Why are you still so sour about this?”

“Because, Mase, I don’t want to freak myself out. This weekend is stressful enough as it is,” Liam answered.

“Dude, I told you already, don’t worry so much. Everyone’s going to love your tradition.”

“No, it’s lame and not special at all.”

“Well, that doesn’t mean it won’t be fun,” Mason offered.

Liam sighed. He pulled out his pyjama bottoms and a sweater. “We’ll see.”

After putting their stuff away, they went back downstairs with their presents. There were two sofas and a big armchair in the middle of the room. Lydia had taken all the pillows from them and put them on the floor. They centred in front of the fireplace, where a TV had been screwed against the wall above. Lydia, Malia, and Kira were already waiting. Liam and Mason walked past the big dining table, which could fit ten people, where all sorts of – what seemed to be – crafting materials had been splayed out.

Liam hugged both Malia and Kira, and he and Mason each put their presents in the other room. When they came back, the five of them made conversation as they waited for the last two boys to come down. They were all wearing pyjamas and other soft clothes. Liam grew curious as to what Lydia had planned.

“Finally,” Malia said when Scott and Stiles descended.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, hold your horses,” Stiles replied. “We have four days to spend together. No need to rush.”

They sat down in the circle, Scott dropping himself next to Liam. Their knees touched, sending a bolt of electricity up Liam’s spine. He moved slightly to the side.

“Right, now that you’re all here,” Lydia said, standing in front of them. “I’d like to officially welcome you all to the Martin lake house. Please don’t break anything. As you know, the weekend will be filled with things we each like to do in terms of celebrating Christmas. Everyone has to participate in each and no whining.”

Liam’s stomach tightened when Lydia reminded him. Surely, everyone would have come up with all this cute or special stuff and there he’d be with his stupid tradition.

“I think she added the last part,” Stiles whispered.

“Let her speak,” Malia barked.

Lydia sighed, composing herself. “I’m going first,” she announced, and stepped off the cushions, rummaging behind the armchair.

She pulled out a bag, walked back, and emptied the contents in front of the group.

“Oh, you have got to be-”

“Stiles, no whining!” Lydia reminded him.

“I want this one!” Mason exclaimed, picking up one of the packets.

Liam, still confused as to what was going on, peeked over Mason’s shoulder.

“We’re having facials and we’re decorating the house with our own Christmas decorations!” Lydia shrieked, dropping to her knees, beaming at the others.

Kira clapped her hands together excitedly.

Liam glared at the packets. A face mask? Really? He didn’t know how to feel about that.

“Malia, you’re getting a black tea mask, to smoothen out your lines, because, you know, you frown a lot,” Lydia said, putting the packet in front of her. “Stiles, you’ve got lemon, because it matches your sour attitude…”

Stiles pulled a face.

“…Mason, you’ve got the moisturizing one. Liam, you’ll have the same. Hmm. Oh! Scott, here’s a honey one, ‘cause you’re sweet.”

Liam’s stomach fluttered at the dopey smile that spread across Scott’s lips.

“Kira will have aloe vera, and I’ll have the one with the coconut oil. It’s my favorite,” Lydia continued. “Right, so, we need to put the masks on, leave them for fifteen minutes, take them off, tone our skin, and then I have some nice cream you can put on that smells like roses.”

Liam took the packet in his hands and stared at it. Next to him, Kira had crawled over and was helping Mason apply the cream to his face. He watched them awkwardly.

“This is so girly,” Stiles said.

“Skincare is not girly,” Lydia argued. “It’s society that makes you think that.”

But even though Lydia’s statement was probably true, Liam had to agree with Stiles. This felt weird. He had never seen any of these things in action in real life, only in the silly, way over the top American chick-flicks that Mason liked to watch every once in a while.

“Come on, Liam, put it on!” Lydia encouraged him.

Liam’s head shot up, ears warming. He didn’t want to be like Stiles and start complaining already. After all, Lydia had said they couldn’t complain about each other’s ideas, which may come in helpful when Liam had to perform his.

“I-I, err…” he stammered. “I don’t really know how.”

“Come here, I’ll apply yours,” Scott offered.

Liam’s stomach jumped. He really didn’t want Scott to do it _for_ him, but there was no way he could back out without sounding offensive or weird about it. So, he turned around, but only to burst out in laughter when he saw Scott’s face.

It was bright orange. Not a nice pastel orange, no, literally a bright-as-the-sun orange. Liam clamped his hand in front of his mouth.

“What?!” Scott asked.

Liam shook his head, chuckling. He forced his mouth back to normal and answered, “No, nothing.”

Scott grinned at him, playfully. “I look ridiculous, don’t I?”

Liam nodded, covering his mouth again. “Yeah, you do.”

Scott scooted closer, ripping open Liam’s packet. “Alright, come on, funny man, give me something to laugh at.”

Liam had briefly forgotten about his plan to act cool, but was now noticing his rapidly beating heart. Scott’s fingers dipped in the cream – his was pink (typical) – and approached Liam’s face.

“Close your eyes,” Scott said quietly.

Hearing those words come out of Scott’s mouth caused a reaction inside of Liam. He swallowed it down and did as he was told. The tips of Scott’s middle and index finger touched his cheek. Liam winced.

“Sorry, should have mentioned my hands are cold,” he apologized.

“It’s fine,” Liam replied in a husky voice.

Scott’s fingers roamed across Liam’s face. His touch was gentle, as if he could hurt Liam at any given moment. His fingers trailed over his forehead, down his temple, across his cheek, and then stroked his thumb across the middle of his chin. Liam’s throat was dry. His heart was going to burst out of his ribcage and he noticed that he was holding his breath.

“All done,” Scott said softly.

Liam opened his eyes. The moment Scott’s fingers left his skin his lungs filled with air.

“You look very pretty,” Scott said.

“Well at least I don’t look orange,” Liam fired back, sounding a bit more forceful than he had intended to.

But Scott continued to smile nonetheless.

“Dude, don’t you love facials?” Mason asked behind him.

Liam huffed, but he had to admit it actually felt quite nice. Funny, but nice. Or maybe that was just because Scott had been the one to put it on.

“Is anyone else’s burning?” Stiles asked.

“Oh, that just means it’s working,” Lydia answered.

Stiles carefully touched his face. “Really? Cause it burns quite a lot.”

Kira picked up his empty package. “Yours heats up,” she said matter-of-factly.

“It what?”

“It’s okay. If your face actually burns off it will only be an improvement,” Malia teased.

“Ha, ha. Very funny. Stiles is ugly.”

The others snickered.

When everyone’s mask was on, they all moved to the dining table. Lydia explained all the things that they could do to decorate the house: write Christmas cards, cut paper snowflakes, or put up lights. Liam grabbed one of the white papers and started cutting. Soon, the room was chatty and filled with laughter. Especially when they rinsed off their masks one by one and Lydia toned their skin.

“My face feels so soft,” Scott said, rubbing his cheeks.

Liam watched him from across the table, nearly dying from cuteness. His fingers were tingling and Scott was such an idiot but he wanted to rub his face. The smell of roses filled his nostrils.

Freezing his heart was going to be more difficult than he thought. But he had to. If he didn’t this weekend would turn into an outright disaster, because allowing himself to like Scott meant allowing himself to hate Christmas as well, and if they would find out he hated Christmas, he would probably have to find a new group of friends – or at least a new Lydia.

Liam stretched his legs, accidentally bumping into Scott’s socked feet. He quickly retracted them.

 “Sorry,” Liam muttered.

Scott smiled.

Then their attention was dragged by Lydia, who came into living room with a tray holding seven mugs. “Mulled cider, anyone?” she asked. “Don’t worry, I boiled it so the alcohol has evaporated.”

“Aren’t you fun,” Malia commented, taking one of the mugs.

Lydia gave her a surprised look. “Well, Liam and Mason are here. They’re young.”

“Only by a year,” Liam reminded her.

“Yeah, and do you really think we’ve never drank before?” Mason added.

Lydia placed her hands on her hips. “Do you want some or not?”

The boys quickly nodded. Liam took the cup from her hands. The steam that came off was filled with smells of cinnamon and caramelized apples. He inhaled again.

“Do you want to help me put up the lights after you’ve finished that?” Scott asked him.

Liam froze. He looked to the side before catching Scott’s eye again. “I think I’m just going to cut out more snowflakes.”

“Oh,” Scott said. “Okay. Yeah, sure.”

“I’ll help,” Stiles prompted.

The two of them got up and Liam focused on his cutting, pretending that he didn’t notice Mason staring at him with a disappointed look.

Mason could judge him all he wanted. Of course he was supportive of him liking Scott – he would be supportive of anyone, really – because he was his best friend. But that didn’t mean Mason knew what was right. Just because he was in a relationship with Corey and everything had been all rainbows and sunshine in their run-up there, didn’t mean it was always going to be that way. Liam was sure Scott didn’t look at him the same way as Corey did at Mason. They were friends. Just friends.

“Whose event is up next?” Kira asked.

“I think it’s Stiles’,” Malia answered. “God knows what he has planned.”

“Probably something that involves partial nudity,” Mason commented.

The others laughed.

Liam shifted on his chair. “So…what have you guys got planned?” Maybe he could calm his nerves a little if he knew the others’ ideas.

“You’ll find out tomorrow,” Kira said in a mysterious tone.

Malia nodded. “Yup, same goes for me.”

Liam’s cheeks filled with air.

“Yeah, and you already know mine, dude.”

“Wait you have talked about what you’re going to do?!” Lydia interrupted. “That wasn’t part of the game!”

“Oh, come on, Lydia. You and Malia know what I’m going to do as well. I had to tell you,” Kira reminded her.

Lydia shrugged lightly. Kira raised her eyebrows at her, causing Lydia to admit defeat. “Fine. But no one else can tell me theirs, because I want to be surprised. That’s what Christmas is all about: surprises. And spending time with the people you love, of course.”

“So do you always do this with your mom?” Liam asked.

“Every single year,” Lydia answered, smiling as she continued to draw her card. “My mom wakes me up on Christmas morning. We have breakfast in bed, put on our masks, and we each make our own personalised ornament for the tree. Then we put them on and open our presents.”

“But if she does it every year, it isn’t much of a surprise anymore,” Liam noted.

Lydia’s smile grew. “And yet every year, I’m surprised.”

Malia groaned. “Ugh, that’s actually really sweet.”

Lydia clicked her tongue, holding up her Christmas card. “I know.”

Maybe that’s why Liam didn’t like Christmas. He wasn’t particularly fond of spending time with his family (his mom had declared that as a symptom of being a teenager – probably true), but it wasn’t like his parents weren’t nice or something. He just didn’t have much to say to them. They would ask stuff – they asked stuff all the time – but he never felt like sharing anything with them. What would they say if he told them he was crushing on his friend? They would probably tell him not to make a big deal out of it and just tell Scott, like Mason, and then go off on a rant about the digital age, how everything is so much less romantic and dull. That when you met someone you liked in their age you asked them out on a date, because it wasn’t like you could add them on Facebook and keep in contact there.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when Scott and Stiles came back in fifteen minutes later, triumph clear on their faces. They had finished putting up the lights and wanted everyone to come outside and look.

They had covered the outlines of the porch, which bent around the left side of the house, overlooking the lake. Dusk had fallen and even with little natural light there, it all looked pretty festive.

“Now we just need to hang up our own decorations inside and voila,” Lydia said, smiling up at the cottage.

But dinner also needed to be catered for, so the girls decided to start cooking (there was pasta on the menu; “not very festive”, Lydia had said, “but it would do”) while the boys taped the snowflakes in front of the windows and stringed the Christmas cards in a line, which ran diagonally across the living room.

Liam was taping the last of his snowflakes when Mason appeared behind him.

“Dude, why did you blow off Scott earlier?” he asked.

“Shush.” Liam quickly looked around. “What if anybody hears?”

“Scott and Stiles are outside,” Mason informed him. “Preparing Stiles’ event or something. Anyway, why?”

Liam shrugged, turning back to his snowflakes. “I didn’t feel like putting up lights.”

“And you don’t want to be alone with him,” Mason added matter-of-factly. “Look, it’s your decision not to do anything about your feelings for Scott, but did you see the look on his face?”

Liam frowned. “No…”

“No, because you were being too selfish,” Mason said. “Do whatever you want, but don’t be a dick about it, okay? If you don’t want to tell Scott you like him then you can at least try to be friends, and friends help each other out, even when it’s something silly as putting up Christmas lights.”

Liam’s face fell. He didn’t know what to say to that, so after a couple of seconds of silence, Mason went to the kitchen to check on the girls. Once alone again, Liam sighed. He had only been here for, what? Five hours? And already this weekend was turning into an outright disaster. Throwing up his wall of ice shouldn’t affect his friendship with other people, just with Scott. He didn’t think Mason would get mad at him for it. If this continued, he would probably be left without any friends on Monday. Then again, if he told Scott about his feelings and Scott rejected him, surely the same thing would happen. No way seemed to be the right way. He felt trapped. Trapped in the confines of a warm, cosy household that was decorated festively and inhabited by people who he liked. How did this happen?

They had dinner a while later. Liam was quiet the whole way through, but no one seemed to notice. Except for Mason, obviously, who rolled his eyes at him a couple of times. It hurt, and a couple of times Liam tried to participate in the conversation that was ongoing, but every time his brain went foggy and didn’t know what to say. Even when they tried to playfully pull out of him what his event was going to be, all he uttered was a mere, “You will see.”

That was it. Three words over the space of an hour.

Since the girls had cooked dinner, it was democratically decided that the boys should do the washing up. Liam’s stomach cringed at the thought of being in the small kitchen with Scott, which got worse when Stiles sneakily got out of doing it, by saying he still needed to do some prep for his event.

The girls called bull, but Stiles just ran off. Scott, being Scott, obviously wasn’t going to object to a democratic decision based on fairness, so he disappeared into the kitchen.

“I actually need to call my parents,” Mason said as he got up from the table. “I haven’t told them we’re arrived safely yet and they tend to worry quite a lot.”

Lydia smiled sympathetically, called it sweet, and told Mason to go upstairs, so he could call in private, but Liam knew he was lying. What he didn’t know was whether Mason was doing it so Liam would purposely be alone with Scott, or if he was at such a level of angry that he didn’t want to be standing next to Liam anymore.

With that saddening debate in mind, Liam cleared the table and went into the kitchen, where Scott was already filling the sink with hot, soapy water.

“Scrubbing or drying?” he asked, holding up a brush and a tea towel.

“Scrubbing,” Liam decided. That way he could rush through it and leave as soon as possible. He rolled up his sleeves to the elbow.

“You okay?” Scott asked. “You didn’t say much during dinner.”

Apparently Mason hadn’t been the only one who had noticed. Then again, it really shouldn’t come as a surprise to Liam. This was considerate, caring Scott McCall. Of course he noticed. He noticed every small thing when it came to the comfort or discomfort of his friends.

Except when you liked him.

“Yeah, fine,” Liam answered, dropping the dirty dishes and cutlery in the sink. The water splashed up and fell onto his arms. It was hot. Too hot. Liam stuck his hands in it, grinding his teeth at the burning pain that enveloped them. Yet, there was something deep down inside of him that made it feel good.

The plates were steaming as he put them on the drying rack next to him. Scott was leaning against the counter. Liam knew he was watching him.

“Do you know how you can tell people are lying when they say they’re fine?” the older one asked after a while.

Liam scoffed. “Psychology 101 with Scott McCall?”

“They don’t ask why you think so.” Scott ignored his comment. “If someone asks a person what’s wrong, and there’s truly nothing wrong, they always ask what makes them think so, because they worry that they’re doing something wrong that makes them think that.”

Liam clenched his jaw, silently continuing to scrub the plates, trying to focus on the burning heat.

“You didn’t ask why,” Scott added.

The cage that Liam had already felt like he was in became smaller. He wasn’t going to budge. Who did Scott think he was, anyway? Psycho-analysing him. It was such a violation of his privacy.

When it remained quiet between them and Liam had finished the plates and started on the cutlery, Scott sighed and picked up one of the plates with his towel.

“Ah,” he hissed.

He quickly dried off the plate and put it down. Liam felt Scott’s eyes on him again. Then the, older one dipped the tip of his index finger into the water. He quickly pulled it out, waving his hand to get rid of the water.

“Liam, the water’s way too hot. Why haven’t you made it colder?” he asked.

Liam didn’t reply; instead he started scrubbing more vigorously. Cleaning the cutlery was worse, because the metal conducted more of the heat than the porcelain plates did.

“Liam,” Scott repeated, but the boy still didn’t respond.

Scott put down the towel and grabbed Liam’s arms by the wrist, pulling them out of the water. Taken aback, Liam let go of the things he had been holding and his fingers emerged from the water.

“Your hands are all red,” Scott said, holding them in his hands.

Liam didn’t dare to look up at him. Instead he just stared at his – indeed, red – hands. Scott’s hands were freezing, but soft, too. They cooled his skin. Just like when they had rubbed Liam’s face that afternoon. He tried to calm his rapidly beating heart, thinking of ice and snow, polar bears and penguins; of freezing.

“Liam, what’s wrong?”

Scott’s words lingered in the air between them, almost visible in front of his downward gaze. They rang in his ears, repeating themselves over and over again. He had been waiting so long for Scott to ask him that that the question now made him choke up. A lump grew in his throat, his stomach tightening, for there was nothing more that he wanted to cry out than how confused he was, and how much he hated this stupid holiday. He wanted to burst out in tears and for Scott to pull him against his chest and just to cry his frustrated heart out.

But his heartbeat slowed down, until it was barely beating – frozen over.

Liam yanked his hands from Scott’s, removing himself from the kitchen as fast as he could. He ran up the stairs, where Mason just came out of their room.

“Finished the washing up?” his friend asked.

But Liam ignored him and instead threw the door shut behind him, leaving Mason in the hallway.

He fell onto his bed, smothering his face in his pillow. This was too hard. He couldn’t do it. It was just too difficult. God, why did he like Scott? Of all people, why Scott? He was just so nice – said and did everything Liam wanted him to do – so why him? Why did it have to be so difficult? Why did Scott have to care so much? Why couldn’t he just be some cocky jock that was easy to hate?

But Liam knew he wouldn’t have liked him if he was.

The fact that he knew the answer to all of those question was even worse than asking them. It made him feel like there was no way out. Of course he liked Scott. How could he not like a guy that was always caring, sympathetic, and loving? That was why he couldn’t tell himself that Scott was toying with him, because he wasn’t. Scott was just being Scott. Everything he did: touching Liam’s face, holding his hands, asking what was wrong, it was in his nature. He cared, because they were friends.

They were friends.

Liam repeated the sentence in his head over and over again, eventually calming himself down. They were friends. He couldn’t blame Scott for being sweet, because they were friends, and friends care about each other. He couldn’t be angry at Scott, because they were friends, and friends didn’t have to be angry with one another. He couldn’t be a dick to Scott, because, after all, they were still friends, and friends weren’t dicks to each other.

Gradually, Liam’s breathing returned back to normal, and he was able to swallow the lump in his throat.

Liam and Scott were friends. That was all they were ever going to be, and it was okay. It should be okay.

He laid there for half an hour more, calming himself down. Right when he was sure his emotions had subsided, the door swung open.

“Dude, come downstairs, my thing is happening,” Stiles said, disappearing again as quickly as he had appeared.

Liam crawled off the bed, straightening out his sweatshirt and his pyjama bottoms. He took a deep breath and walked out of the room, going downstairs.

For a split second the horrifying idea that Scott had told everyone what had just happened in the kitchen scared him, but when he heard everyone excitedly chatting outside, that faded.

He put on his shoes and stepped through the front door, where a campfire was burning around the corner of the house.

“We’re making s’mores!” Stiles exclaimed excitedly with thrown up arms.

The gang laughed, going back inside to grab their winter coats. They all went and sat down around the campfire on thick logs that Stiles had assembled. Scott placed himself across from Liam, which hurt the boy a little, but then Mason sat down beside him, which brought some comfort. Maybe he wasn’t mad at him anymore.

“I have to say, Stiles,” Lydia said after they had all picked up a wooden stick, a marshmallow skewered on top near the fire. “I was worried you were going to come up with something ridiculous, but this is really nice.”

Stiles smirked.

“Yeah,” Kira agreed. “So do you do this every Christmas?”

“Not necessarily during Christmas,” Stiles admitted. “But my dad and I go on a fishing trip every once in a while, just the two of us, and in the evening we always roast marshmallows on a campfire.”

“That’s a really nice tradition,” Mason said, who was sitting next to him.

Stiles nodded. “It is.”

Liam pulled his marshmallow from the fire, carefully taking a bite. It had gone crispy on the outside, but once in his mouth it was all warm and gooey. He savoured the fluffy texture. The sweet taste cheered him up a little, and when he opened his eyes again he accidentally locked them with Scott, who smiled at him weakly. Liam’s heart skipped a beat, and granted him a lopsided smile as to apologize for what had happened earlier. The other averted his gaze.

“But, there is more to it,” Stiles said mysteriously. He reached behind himself and Liam could hear him rustling through a plastic bag.

“Tada!” Stiles said, holding up a bottle of Jägermeister.

The group groaned.

“I knew there was a catch,” Malia said.

“Bet you don’t do that with your dad,” Lydia mentioned with a look.

Stiles laughed. “Oh, come on. It’s just to keep you warm. We can make a game out of it.”

“I’m not taking off any of my clothes,” Kira warned, rubbing her shoulders protectively.

“No! It’s nothing like that,” Stiles said. “I was thinking that we let the bottle go round, we each take a shot, and whenever we feel like we’ve had enough liquid courage, we each admit something about ourselves no one else knows.”

“That’s gonna be quite hard,” Scott said.

Stiles rolled his eyes. “Fine, something hardly any of us know,” he corrected himself. “Who wants to start?”

The group glanced at each other before they simultaneously exclaimed, “You!”

Stiles huffed. “Fine, I’ll take the first shot, but I’m not going to be the first to say something.”

He put words to action as he opened the bottle and took a swig. “Aaah, okay.” He shook his head. “Your turn,” he said, handing the bottle to Mason.

Mason scoffed with an unimpressed look, taking a drink from the bottle without saying anything. He didn’t even wince.

“Not my first time, my friend,” he said to Stiles as he handed the bottle to the one sitting next to him.

Liam tentatively took the bottle and took a swig. The liquid burned his throat and he coughed a couple of times, contracting his mouth in a weird angle. “Ugh.”

The bottle was handed to Lydia, to Malia, to Kira, and finally to Scott, who all pulled the same face as Liam had done.

“You guys haven’t said anything!” Stiles said upon receiving the bottle again.

Everyone shrugged. It seemed like no one wanted to go first. So Stiles drank for a second time, and the bottle went full circle in dead silence, with cringing faces and loud coughing.

Liam could tell Stiles was starting to hesitate about doing the inevitable; going first. But the bottle went round again. It was quite strong stuff, especially since none of them ever really drank – except for Mason, apparently.

“Fine!” Stiles finally gave in.

The group laughed and cheered.

Stiles looked around, waiting for them to quieten down. He was holding the bottle at the neck.

“I’m still a virgin,” he said, quickly putting the bottle to his lips.

“What?!” the gang exclaimed.

“What about you and Malia?” Kira asked. “In Eichen House?”

Stiles shook his head. “Never happened.”

“So you lied?” Lydia asked.

“Well, technically we only said we’d had a special night, not that anything had happened,” Stiles answered, shrugging.

“That’s actually true,” Malia chipped in.

Scott snickered. Liam figured he knew already.

“Anyway, I’ve done mine,” Stiles said. “Next.”

Mason chuckled, shaking his head. He took the bottle from Stiles. “Okay, well, on that note, Corey and I have done it.” He drank.

Liam knew that, but the rest all swooned jokingly.

“How was it?” Lydia asked, her full lips formed in a cheeky smile.

Mason shrugged. “It was quite awkward at first, but in the end it was good. We had fun.”

“Who was taking it?”

“Stiles!” Lydia shrieked. “You can’t ask that.”

“Why not?” Stiles asked, throwing up his hands. “I’m merely being polite.”

Mason laughed. “Sorry, man. You said it only had to be one secret.”

“Game’s changing, game’s changing!” Stiles announced. “It’s two secrets now!”

Everyone laughed, but ignored him. Mason handed the bottle to Liam.

Liam thought for a while, but he didn’t feel like saying anything yet – also because he didn’t know _what_ to say. He didn’t have that many secrets. Well, except for that he liked Scott, but he wasn’t going to share _that_ one. So, he drank and passed the Jägermeister on to Lydia.

It went full circle again. The bottle was halfway down. Liam was feeling something now. He was lightheaded and the fire had become a bit more pleasant against his face, like he was glowing.

“Okay, I’ll do it,” Malia then said. She took a big chug.

Stiles shook his head. “You know you’re supposed to say your secret-”

“I like Lydia!” Malia exclaimed, taking another swig. “Woo!” She fell against Lydia’s shoulder, nestling into her neck.

“Oh, sweetie, I like you, too,” Lydia responded, patting her head gently.

The group exchanged looks, probably all thinking the same as Liam was. Did Malia meant she _liked_ liked Lydia, or just as a friend? But no one said anything, and the bottle was passed on. There was a flicker of hope and pleasant surprise in Liam, realizing that, if this was how the group reacted to someone having a crush on someone, it might not be all bad.

For a moment it seemed like Kira was about to say something, but instead drank and gave it to Scott.

“Fine, I’ll go next,” he gave in. “Purely because I can’t take much more of this stuff.”

Stiles giggled.

“I just want to say…” he paused. “You guys are my best friends. And I’m really happy that you’re here.”

“Boo!” the group shouted. Malia threw a handful of marshmallows Scott’s way. Liam chuckled, too. Apparently he wasn’t the only one who thought Scott could be such a goodie-two-shoes.

“That’s not a secret. We all know that,” he said in the spur of the moment.

For a second Scott looked up, seemingly surprised that Liam was talking, and especially talking to him. His gaze lasted for a beat longer. Liam averted his eyes, cheeks reddening, which he hoped Scott couldn’t see through the fire.

“Alright,” Scott said. “I’ll tell you a secret.” He rearranged himself on the log, and Liam didn’t know if it was because he had been staring at him when he said that or if it was because of the alcohol, but a shot of adrenaline pumped  through his veins. Paralysed by liquid courage, he forgot about guarding his heart.

“I don’t have many Christmas traditions,” Scott said. “My mom and I try to celebrate Christmas, but we don’t really. Since my dad left and I don’t have any other siblings, it has always been just the two of us, but as I became older, she started to work more. So, over the past two years, she’d always have to work.”

Liam raised his eyebrows in surprise. He had not seen that one coming.

“So yeah, I guess you could say this is the first time in three years that I’m celebrating Christmas again,” Scott finalized. “And I’m really excited about it.”

Lydia smiled sympathetically and Kira rubbed his shoulder.

Scott put the bottle to his lips and threw his head back. After he swallowed, he added, “Which is also why my Christmas tradition isn’t really a tradition, because I have none.”

“But yours is going to be the best,” Stiles said, patting him on the shoulder. “Trust me, guys, it’s really cool.”

Liam stared at Scott. He’d never expected this from him. It seemed like he and Liam were in similar situations, except that Liam still hated the tradition he had come up with for the weekend. Still, hearing Scott admit that ignited a small flame of courage inside of him.

“My turn,” he said, taking the bottle from Stiles, who was just about to drink.

“Oh, I know yours,” Mason interrupted. His speech sounded slurred. “I know your secret.”

Liam’s eyes widened and he gave him a look. He gripped the bottle a little tighter in his fist. Surely Mason wasn’t referring to…was he? No, he was his best friend.

“Liam’s worried no one will like his tradition,” Mason told.

Liam exhaled a deep sigh, his grip on the bottle loosening.

“Why are you worried?” Lydia asked.

The boy rubbed his knees together, gaze falling. “Because I don’t really like Christmas in the first place,” he admitted softly.

“What?!” the group screamed at him.

Liam defensively moved his hands in front of his face, quickly drinking after the voices had died down.

“I just find it really stressful,” he explained. “Coming up with original ideas, buying presents for everyone. It’s such a…hassle. It can really get into my head.”

He glanced up and caught Scott looking at him with a proud smile. Liam blushed. There was something in the way Scott looked at him that made his stomach jump and his fingers tingle (or maybe it was the alcohol). But then it dawned on Liam that the poor guy probably thought that was the thing that had been bothering him in the kitchen earlier. He swallowed, because he knew that wasn’t entirely fair.

On the other hand, Scott was allowed to think that. Technically Liam wasn’t lying. He was just keeping the truth to himself. At least it meant one less person being pissed at him. Although he doubted Scott had been pissed in the first place.

Mason patted him on the back and squeezed his neck. Liam gave him a thankful look.

Okay, maybe no one was pissed at him anymore. Finally, this weekend seemed to look a little better.

He offered Lydia the bottle. She took it with a deep sigh, then inhaled a deep breath.

“I miss my dad,” she said.

Everyone remained silent. Lydia’s dad had killed himself many years ago, but she never really spoken about it. Actually, this was the first time Liam had heard her mention it. He had only known about it before because Mason had told him.

Malia was staring at Lydia, biting her lip. She pulled her against her chest and kissed her hair. Lydia smiled.

“This is so silly,” she said after Malia had let go of her again. “I was so excited about this weekend.” She sniffed. “I think it’s just because it’s my first Christmas away from my mom – and don’t get me wrong, I love you guys. I love being here with you guys, but it’s just… I don’t know.” She shook her head, brushed her hair out of her face, smiled. “I think I’m just having a moment.”

Everyone smiled at her sympathetically. She took another drink, before giving the bottle to Kira.

The dark haired girl sighed. “Well, to continue the slightly sadder part of the evening,” she paused, closing her eyes briefly. “Sometimes I feel like I’m irrelevant.”

Liam perked up a little, like a dog hearing its name being called.

Lydia was the first to say something. “What? Why do you feel that way? You’re not irrelevant.”

Kira shrugged lightly. “I don’t know. I guess I just…gosh, this is going to sound awful, but I…I guess, sometimes, I don’t feel as connected to you guys as you seem to be connected to each other?”

“How do you mean?” Stiles asked.

“Well, you have Scott, Mason and Liam are best friends, and Lydia and Malia are really tight.”

“What do you mean Malia and I are tight?” Lydia said with a look of disbelief on her face. Her voice had risen an octave. “ _We_ are tight.”  

Liam had to admit that he kind of understood where Kira was coming from. Sure, he had Mason, but he had a different relationship to the others in the group. Probably because Mason was his best friend, and the others were just friends, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing – it was just the way things were – but sometimes it could make him feel like an outsider. Merely because he and Mason had been the most recent additions to their group. Maybe he felt like they were still integrating.

“Please don’t take this the wrong way,” Kira said. “It’s not like I think you’re all bad friends or something.”

“Honey, I’m more shocked that you feel that way, because you shouldn’t feel that way,” Lydia said.

“Yeah,” Scott agreed. “We never meant to make you feel like you’re irrelevant.

Kira blushed, taking another swig from the bottle. “To be honest, I think it’s also because of my parents. I mean, we’ve moved so many times. I’ve had to let go of so many friends, and all those people have moved on. It just makes me feel like I’m not important, you know? Like…I didn’t leave a gap in their life or anything. I can just disappear and nothing will have changed.”

Beside Liam, Lydia was shaking her head. She got up, and moved a seat down so she was sitting between Kira and Malia. She took the bottle from Kira’s hands and put it on the ground, taking her hands in hers.

“Look,” she said. A strand of her strawberry blonde hair fell on her slightly flustered cheek. “Maybe you don’t feel like you would leave a gap when you would move again, but you certainly fill mine. After…” She swallowed. “After Allison passed away…I was so lonely. No offense to the boys, but it just…it wasn’t the same. When I met you and Malia, that feeling slowly started to fade. I had friends again. Girlfriends who I could paint my nails with and try on clothes with and relate to.” She smiled. “So you _are_ relevant. Especially to me, and I’m sorry that sometimes you feel disconnected, but I feel quite the opposite with you.”

Liam swallowed. The heartfelt confession caused his throat to close up a little. Suddenly, he saw movement in the corner of his eyes and… And did Scott just wipe his eyes?

Then it hit him. Lydia wasn’t the only one with a gap in her life. Scott had the same one. Probably even bigger than Lydia’s. Liam frowned sadly, resisting the urge to get up and wrap Scott into his arms. He had never seen this side of him, not even thought about the possibility.

But Scott was hurting, too.

Lydia had pressed her forehead against Kira, but the silence was broken when they all heard someone sniff loudly. Everyone’s eyes drew to Stiles, who was basically balling.

“Stiles? Are you okay?” Scott asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“That was so sweet!” Stiles exclaimed, breath hitching in his throat.

It broke the tension, and the group burst out laughing. Stiles got up and retrieved the abandoned bottle. He narrowed his eyes to look inside.

“Alright, everyone’s had a go, and there should be one last shot in there for all of us,” he said, looking around for confirmation.

Everyone nodded, and Stiles said, “To friendship!”

The group mimicked his motion one by one, until Scott had the last sip.

Stiles placed his hands on his hips, still standing. He nodded. “Well, I’d call that a successful night.”

They all agreed.

They sat around the fire a while longer, enjoying the buzz of the alcohol, until the flames died out and they decided it was time to go to bed. They all got up, and now Liam could definitely feel the Jägermeister. His head was spinning and his throat felt dry.

“Hey, look, it’s snowing,” Mason mentioned.

Everyone looked up and admired the sight for a second, before they slumped back inside.

There was an odd moment when everyone was upstairs. They were about to go into their separate rooms, but suddenly everyone turned around and started hugging each other, one by one, each wishing each other good night. Something like that had never really happened before, but Liam enjoyed the close contact. It made him feel like they were one united front – like a real group of friends.

Scott turned towards him, and Liam looked up awkwardly. Scott’s eyes were droopy from being tired, but he smiled nonetheless, sticking out his arms. Liam’s heart jumped and he wrapped his arms around Scott’s waist. When his chin was resting on Scott’s shoulder, he let out a deep sigh. Scott gently stroked his back.

“G’night,” Liam said, after they had let go.

“Sweet dreams,” Scott said.

After that, Liam went into his bedroom, where Mason had already sprawled himself out on his bed.

“Some night, huh?” he slurred, voice muffled by the pillow.

Liam nodded. “Some night…”

“How are you feeling?” Mason asked.

Liam sighed. It was probably because he was tipsy, but suddenly he was overwhelmed by a feeling of joy and happiness and he answered, “I want to fill Scott’s hole.”

“I bet you do,” Mason giggled.

“Not that way!” Liam exclaimed, the tips of his ears burning. “I mean the hole in his heart.”

Mason hummed. “That’s nice.” He rolled over onto his back, turning his head to the side. “So does that mean you’re gonna go for it?”

Liam shrugged. “I don’t know… I don’t know if I’m the right person, you know. I mean, it’s one thing wanting it, but it’s not really up to me…”

“Only one way to find out…”

Liam nodded. He took off his clothes and crawled into bed, waiting for Mason to do the same.

His best friend was about to switch off the light when he turned towards Liam and said, “I think you two would be really great together.”

Liam smiled, because Mason had mentioned that already. A second later darkness filled the room. Liam sank deeper into his sheets and, with that, deeper into his thoughts. And as the alcohol subsided and night time doubt started to kick in, by the time he fell asleep, he was thinking he’d rather be friends with Scott, then nothing at all.


	2. Saturday

The following morning, the gang woke up early. They had a busy day ahead, for three of them had something planned. Kira was up first, but not before they had breakfast, then Malia, and finally Scott, whose event was in the evening.

It turned out it hadn’t stopped snowing during the night. When Liam opened the curtains of their bedroom window, he was faced with a picturesque landscape, all covered in fluffy whiteness. He squinted at the brightness.

By eleven AM they were all dressed, fed, and ready to go. Kira stepped in front of them.

“Alright, so for my event, we’re going ice skating on the lake,” she said, smiling.

Everyone looked excited, but Liam saw an error in that plan.

“I haven’t brought my skates,” he said cautiously.

“Oh yeah,” Mason said. “Me neither.”

Kira smiled. “Don’t worry, I’ve thought of that, too. Follow me.”

Everyone obediently followed her into the kitchen where she crouched down to look into a big bag. She pulled out pairs of skates, handing them to the boys one by one.

“What about the girls?” Scott asked.

“We’ve brought our own,” Malia answered. “Kira told us to.”

Stiles was examining the shoes in his hands with a deep frown. “How did you even know our sizes?”

Kira shrugged. “Lacrosse practice. I checked your shoes once when you were all out on the field.

“Oh, sneaky,” Scott said.

“Wait,” Liam said. “But Mason isn’t on the team.”

“Oh, please.” Lydia stepped forward. “Mason and I have gone shopping so many times that I basically know all his sizes.”

Mason winked at her, showing a thumbs up.

“Still, how did you even get them?” Stiles asked. “You haven’t bought them, have you?”

Kira shook her head. “No, I borrowed them from the ice hockey team. Since there’s no training over Christmas, they were fine with it.”

Stiles nodded, mouth pulled downwards. “I have to say, I’m impressed.”

Kira blushed.

They all put on their shoes and with skates in hand they made their way down the hill towards the lake. Kira said she was going to test the ice first. The group watched her skate off tentatively, suppressing the terrifying thought that they would see their friend disappear through the ice at some point.

“It’s fine. Very thick,” Kira reported back a couple of minutes later. “Just make sure you don’t go too far out, because it gets thinner there.”

Everyone nodded, switching out their shoes for skates. Moments later, almost everyone was out on the ice, except for Scott and Malia.

Liam watched Mason talk to them from afar, when suddenly he turned around and slid to Liam in a few quick motions. The blades scratched the ice as he came to a halt.

“You have to teach Scott how to skate,” he said.

Liam’s jaw dropped. “What?”

“Come on, I already told him you would do it,” Mason explained, motioning for Liam to follow him.

“Mase, I…”

“Dude, you really need to get over this ridiculous thing that you don’t want to be alone with him. Remember what I said? Friends help other friends,” Mason warned him, setting off in the direction of the shore.

Liam sighed deeply, because he knew Mason was right. On top of that, last night he had also decided that he was going to try and be friends with Scott, and get over his crush. Still, that hadn’t necessarily meant he wanted to start that very morning. It already proved hard enough to witness a sleepy Scott, who had just woken up with bed hair, wiping his eyes and yawning like a young puppy. Surely he couldn’t withstand watching that puppy helplessly failing about on the ice.

He followed after Mason with a heavy stomach. In the meantime, Lydia had come back to teach Malia, and Scott had courageously taken his first steps onto the slippery surface. When Liam caught up, Mason skated off again, and Liam watched Scott stumble with his arms stuck out in front of him, tentatively trying to keep his balance.

“Please help,” he said, awkwardly smiling up at the boy.

Liam bit his lip, because Scott looked really adorable, and it felt like the brick in his stomach had magically exploded into a million butterflies.

“Okay, just…” he started. “…Just kick off with one foot, and try to slide on the other.”

Scott nodded, his brow twisting into a focused frown. He tried, stumbled, wobbled, and almost fell over, but in the end just about managed to regain his balance. “It’s so slippery!” he said, laughing at his own obvious statement. “I need something to hold on to.”

Internally, Liam was screaming. He looked around himself to see if there was something Scott could use. There was the pier, but the ice around it wasn’t thick enough to skate on.

“I’ll get you a chair from inside,” he said.

“No!” Scott exclaimed. “Don’t leave me alone.”

It was the first time Liam had seen Scott scared. He bit down on his bottom lip. It was against his principle, because he wanted to keep his distance and get over Scott, he truly did, but it seemed like the situation wasn’t the place for that. Hesitantly, he offered, “Try…try and hold my hands.”

Scott nodded.

Their gloved hands met and Liam tried not to focus on how intimate it felt to have Scott clamping down on to him. Instead, he concentrated on directing his strength to his upper arms and holding Scott up.

“Alright, try again,” he said.

“You can even skate backwards?!” Scott exclaimed. “God I feel like such a loser.”

From the corner of his eyes, Liam saw Kira fly and spin around mid-air. He bit his lip.

They practiced for half an hour, with Liam holding Scott’s hands. Eventually, it seemed like Scott was starting to get the hang of it, and Liam had to admit he was actually having fun. Maybe he wasn’t over his crush yet, but at least he could act normally around him again – even though his heart was doing overtime and his stomach was trying hard to digest the butterflies.

At some point Scott had covered quite some distance without stumbling. He had listened to Liam’s instructions, and was now slowly pushing himself off and sliding forward, one foot after the other. Liam was very impressed, and he even thought Scott might be able to manage by himself.

Slowly, he loosened his grip on Scott’s hands.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Scott panicked, terror in his voice.

“You can do it,” Liam encouraged him, slowly retrieving his hands. “Just keep your arms in front of you and keep on sliding.”

“No, wait!” Scott called out.

But Liam had already let go of him.

Scott stumbled. His right foot flicked from the ice, followed by the other. His arms were flailing, desperately trying to keep him standing, but in the end the inevitable happened and he was on his back on the ice.

He had fallen.

Liam bent over him, a guilty expression on his face.

“You let go,” Scott stated, looking like a young child that had been betrayed by his father who had tried to teach him how to cycle without training wheels.

“I’m sorry,” Liam apologized. “I thought you could do it.”

Scott sat up, shaking his head. Small icicles flew from the tips of his hair.

“I think I’m just gonna go back to the shore and cheer everyone on,” he said.

Liam’s heart sank.

“No, wait. Let’s try again. I won’t let go this time, I promise.”

Scott raised himself up. “Nah, it’s okay. I’ll never get the hang of it,” he said, awkwardly walking off.

Liam watched him go. The freezing wind swept up his hair and guilt settled heavily in his stomach. He shivered, for the afternoon suddenly felt a little colder.

“Where’s Scott going?” Mason asked, suddenly appearing next to Liam.

Liam sighed. “He doesn’t want to try anymore.”

“Liam,” Mason groaned, throwing his head back. “What did you do?”

“Nothing!” Liam exclaimed, shocked that his best friend thought he had done something wrong. “I tried to teach him, but when I thought he could do it, he fell down.”

Mason frowned. Liam could tell what he was thinking. Was Scott actually mad at him about this? Scott never got mad… He was too nice to get mad. Something flared up inside of him. A small burst of perseverance.

He pushed off and skated to the shore, where Scott had just dropped himself in the snow. He needed to stop this. He needed to warm up and stop freezing Scott out. He couldn’t tell him he liked him, but he sure as hell could ask him why he was acting this way.

Scott was unstrapping his skates, pulling his feet out of them.

“Come back on the ice,” Liam said once he was standing in front of him.

Scott frowned. “Liam, honestly. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not okay,” Liam replied. “I’m teaching you. Now get back on.”

“Why are you making such a big deal out of this?”

Liam bit his lip. “Because,” he said. “I don’t understand you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that one moment you’re holding my hands and the next you’re running off and it’s confusing me,” Liam answered, voice thick with annoyance.

Confused, Scott put on his normal shoes and got up. “Liam, it’s just ice skating.”

Liam took a step back. ‘It’s just ice skating’. The words repeated themselves in his head and suddenly he realised that wasn’t what he had been talking about. Shocked, the flame extinguished and he found himself at a loss for words.

Scott stepped forward, but the slippery surface between them was bordering his movements. “What’s going on with you?” he asked, his voice sounding more concerned than before.

Just like that, upon realising his secret had poked through and showed a glimpse of itself, Liam’s back stiffened. His face crystalized, as if swept into a hailstorm, and sternly he answered, “Nothing,” before skating off.

He sailed across the lake, eyes watering from the wind that was scratching his skin. Everything was such a mess. His feet stamped the ice harder as he skated on it, hoping that it would break and the cold water would swallow him whole. He knew those thoughts weren’t normal, but all he wanted to do was drown. He was already doing so, anyway. His lungs had already filled with water, but every time he had managed to cough it up and suck in a fresh breath of air, swimming towards the hole in the surface that he had fallen through, he’d just been knocked down again. Every time he felt like things were going in the right direction or he had made a good decision, every time his hands were trying to find their grip on the ice, he’d do something stupid and stumble back down again.

His foot slipped, and he fell onto his side, a shot of pain surging through his shoulder. Everything was such a mess. He was surrounded by winter and cold, so why was he still feeling things? It should be easy to block them out. Why couldn’t he just pretend everything was fine? Why did he keep screwing up? If he decided not to talk to Scott, Mason would get mad at him. If he decided to talk to Scott, Scott would turn him away. Did he really have to choose? Why wasn’t there an in-between? A third option? Why couldn’t he just be friends with Scott, without all the added drama and him making things awkward? Holding Scott’s hands had felt so great, why couldn’t that be enough? Why hadn’t he let Scott be?

He felt elastic, strapped against Scott. Like he was destined to continuously be whipped back to him, despite his greatest efforts of getting away from him. It was a losing battle, but one that he couldn’t get away from, even if he admitted defeat.

“Are you okay?” Lydia and Kira asked. They had skated up to him. “We saw you fall and you didn’t move.”

Liam sniffed, quickly running a hand over his face. “Yeah, I’m fine, just slipped.” He let himself be helped up.

Behind Lydia and Kira, he saw Scott laughing with Stiles. A stab of pain shot through his chest. Scott had already forgotten about him. He didn’t care.

“Come on, let’s go back and have a hot drink,” Kira said, smiling.

Liam nodded, and she and Lydia went off. Just when Liam was about to do the same, Mason caught up with him, noticing something was wrong.

“Please don’t force me to be alone with Scott anymore,” Liam said in a thick voice.

Mason frowned, but then his face softened and he wrapped an arm around him.

“Okay,” he said comfortingly. “No more.”

They slowly made it off the lake, putting on their shoes and moving back into the lake house. A shiver ran down Liam’s spine, despite the warmth inside. Scott had placed himself in the armchair, so Liam sat down on the sofa across from him. He needed to be as far away as possible.

Scott was occasionally throwing him glances, but Liam didn’t meet them. Lydia lit the fireplace.

Mason appeared behind him, leaning over the sofa. “You want hot chocolate, or tea?” he asked softly.

“Chocolate,” Liam answered.

Mason nodded, ruffling a hand through Liam’s hair. Liam squeezed his hands together in his lap, because he could tell Stiles, Malia, and Lydia were now staring at him as well. It was like everyone knew something was going on, but no one had the guts to ask what. Either that, or they just didn’t want to pry.

That was probably why Malia got up the moment Mason and Kira entered the living room again, steaming mugs in hand, to announce her activity for the day.

“Right, so,” she said, rubbing her hands together. “After you arrived, you all put your Christmas presents in one of the empty rooms upstairs. I have locked the door to that room and hidden the key, so it’s your objective to find it.”

“Like a scavenger hunt?” Stiles asked.

“Exactly,” Malia answered, smirking. “With a little friendly competition. I’ve divided you into groups of two…”

Liam’s heart sank. If he was paired with Scott he was going throw himself into the fireplace.

“I’m not playing, because I know where the key is, obviously,” Malia explained. “So, the teams are: Mason and Stiles - yellow, Scott and Lydia - red, and Liam and Kira - blue.”

Liam allowed the breath he was holding to flow out of his mouth.

“There are clues all around the house that will lead you to the key, but you have to stick to your own colour. So, if you accidentally find someone else’s clue, you can either decide to negotiate with the other team, keep quiet, or even hide it somewhere else, but the destroying of clues is not allowed.”

“Ah, man!” Stiles exclaimed.

“Hey!” Mason said. “If you’re going to play with me, you’re going to play fairly.”

Stiles responded by sticking out his tongue.

Malia rolled her eyes. “Anyway, there’s a very, very special prize for the winners. So…the game starts when you’ve all finished your drinks and found the clue that’s on your bed. Go, go, go!”

With that, everyone abandoned their cup on the table and ran off, even Liam, overpowered by the relief that he didn’t have to spend the next couple of hours alone with Scott. Of course Stiles tried to trip everyone on the stairs – only ending up falling himself – and Lydia was trying to lock Kira out of their bedroom.

Liam laughed, getting into his own bedroom first. He scanned around and found a folded piece of paper on his pillow, quickly grabbing it and unfolding it.

‘not finished,’ it said.

He frowned, glancing at Mason who had the same questioning look on his face.

“Liam!” Kira shouted, entering the room. “I’ve found something.”

Excitedly, Liam jumped up. “Me too.”

They held their papers together.

“This sentence is not finished,” Kira read out loud.

Liam frowned. “What do you think that means?”

Kira shrugged. “We probably have to find more clues,” she said. “Come on, let’s start in the kitchen.”

Liam followed her downstairs. Once in the kitchen, they started rummaging through the cupboards, but without much success…until Liam’s eye fell onto the cooking pan that was on the stove. He took off the lid and inside was a piece of paper.

“Got something!”

“Shush!” Kira motioned for him to be quiet. “Maybe it’s not ours and then the others can’t know.”

“Oh, yeah,” Liam remembered. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest. It was crazy how into the game they were.

“This one’s for Mason and Stiles,” Kira observed. “It has a yellow dot. Quick, put it back.”

Liam did as he was told, but instead of leaving the pan where it was, he put it in the cabinet under the sink.

Kira giggled. “Nice touch.”

Liam smiled. “Thanks. Come on, shall we try the living room?”

Kira agreed, but on their way out they ran into Mason and Stiles.

“There’s nothing in there,” Kira said.

“Nope, absolutely nothing,” Liam played along.

Mason narrowed his eyes at Liam and then smirked. “Liar. Come on, Stiles.”

Liam and his partner in crime snickered before each taking a corner in the living room, where Malia was sitting on the sofa with an amused look on her face.

“This is great to watch,” she said.

Kira poked her side and went back to examining the fireplace. Liam went to the dresser at the side of the room, next to the coatrack. He opened the first drawers, but nothing appeared, until he opened the last one.

“Hey, do you think this is something?” he asked.

Kira turned around and walked towards him. “Man, you’re good at this,” she said.

Liam nodded, but ignored her compliment. He was too occupied with the three objects he was looking at.

Kira picked one of them up and examined it. “It looks like a torch,” she said.

Liam frowned. “Maybe it’s not part of the game.”

“No, wait, hold on.” Kira waved at him with her free hand. “Look, there’s a blue dot on it.” She moved the switch on the side. “It’s a blacklight.”

Liam’s jaw dropped an inch before he turned to Malia. “Oh my God, that is so cool.”

Malia raised her eyebrows, wiggling her shoulders triumphantly. “I know.”

Just then, Mason and Stiles came out of the kitchen.

“Quick, they can’t see it,” Liam hissed.

Kira quickly shoved the torch in the front pocket of her sweater.

“Are Scott and Lydia still upstairs?” Liam asked, trying to distract the boys.

Stiles nodded. “They are. I told them there’s another clue for them in our room.” He smirked deviously. “But there isn’t.”

The others laughed.

“Oh, and, by the way, ‘best friend’,” Mason said as Liam passed him. “Lying is a sin, you know that, right?” He held up the kitchen clue.

Liam shrugged it off, before following Kira upstairs.

“Malia was taking really long in the bathroom the other day. I bet you she’s put something there.”

Liam thought. “But if we all use that bathroom, surely we would have already seen something suspicious.”

“Unless we couldn’t,” Kira said, flashing the black light.

Admittedly, even though they hadn’t found any clues yet, he and Kira proved to be an amazing team. He had never seen this competitive side of her, not even on the lacrosse field. The way she connected dots and figured things out was really clever. She had amazing detective skills.

This proved even truer when Kira closed – and locked – the door behind them.

“Now we can scan the room in peace,” she said. “If anyone comes to the door, you say you’re on the toilet, and I’ll keep quiet.”

Liam gave her a look, because why did he have to be the one on the toilet? But he didn’t argue with her.

Kira turned off the light and lit up the torch. The dark bathroom filled with a purple glow that made their eyeballs and teeth look even whiter.

“So cool,” Liam said.

Kira nodded, giving him the flashlight. “You’re better at finding things.”

Excitedly, Liam took the torch and started scanning the walls. Kira followed his movements closely.

“Hey, since we’re alone, can I bring something up?” Kira asked after a while.

Liam frowned, because he didn’t know what on Earth Kira would want to talk to him about. “Sure, what’s up?”

“Are you in love with Scott?”

Liam swiftly turned around, eyes wide. “What? How did you- Has Mason- I mean, why? What makes you think that?”

Kira defensively held up her hands. “I’m sorry. I just…I catch you looking at him sometimes and I just thought…”

He didn’t know exactly why, but suddenly Liam felt like there was no point lying. He lowered his arms. “It’s that obvious, huh?”

Kira showed him a crooked smile. “It’s not. It’s just…it was easy for me to notice, because I’ve looked at him the same way.”

Liam head shot up. Oh God. He had completely forgotten that Kira and Scott had dated in the past! Panic started to bubble up in his stomach.

“I take it you haven’t told him?” Kira asked carefully.

“No,” Liam answered, shaking his head. “And I don’t want to, either.”

“Is that why you’ve been acting so weird?”

“Acting weird?” Liam repeated.

“Well,” Kira started, rubbing her upper arm. “You two keep looking at each other and then running away again.”

Liam sucked in his bottom lip. Kira was hitting the nail on the head, which meant, if she could see it…

“Don’t worry,” Kira added quickly. “I think it’s just because I’ve been paying more attention to you two than everyone else.”

“Oh,” Liam said. He didn’t know what else to say.

Kira sighed. “I suppose, the reason I wanted to bring it up, is because I know what it feels like. I know what it feels like to like Scott, how confusing it can be. He’s always so nice and friendly and he doesn’t mind showing affection and it can get really frustrating.”

Finally, Liam met her gaze. “Exactly!” he exclaimed. “Finally! Thank you! I’ve been trying to tell Mason that over and over again, but he doesn’t understand.”

“That’s because liking Scott isn’t like liking any other person,” Kira said in a matter-of-fact tone, before her lips broke into a smile. “I just wanted to see how you were holding up.”

Liam sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub. “Honestly? I don’t know. It’s all so confusing,” he admitted. “Sometimes I think he might like me back, but then I don’t, and then I think I should try and push him away, but then he suddenly finds me again and my head gets all fuzzy.” He scrunched up his nose. “I guess I’m just…lost.”

Kira sat down next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I know what you’re going through,” she said.

Liam showed her a lopsided smile. “Thanks. Got any advice?”

“Not really,” Kira answered. “Except for…if you do decide to tell him, you have to know that Scott isn’t the kind of person that turns his back on you if your feelings for him aren’t mutual. He’d never abandon his friends.”

“Yeah, but I’ll be left to deal with the aftermath myself, and it’s not like I can shut him out.”

Kira sighed. “Unfortunately…that’s also true.”

Liam rubbed a hand over his forehead, blowing a raspberry. “I just don’t know what to do,” he repeated. “Thanks, though, for talking to me about it. It’s nice to know that there’s someone who understands me.”

Kira squeezed his shoulder. “You’re welcome.”

For a brief moment, Liam rested his head against hers, and they just shared the moment in the bathroom, completely silent, until Liam perked up.

“So, what happened between you and Scott?” he asked. “I mean, I know you dated, but why did you stop?”

Kira shrugged lightly, shaking her hair from her face. “It didn’t work out. For several reasons,” she answered.

Liam nodded, taking the short answer as a sign not to pry any further.

“Have you tried that side, yet?” Kira asked, indicating with her head to the wall behind them.

“Not yet,” Liam answered, before getting up and shining the black light along the tiles. “There’s something here,” he said when something lit up. “It’s the same sentence as on our note, but there are different numbers written under them.”

“I suppose the blue ones are meant for us,” Kira figured.

“Okay, try to remember: 7, 4, 0, 9, 1.

Kira nodded. “Alright, that’s everything here then. Let’s go.”

She switched the light back on, but before she could open the door, Liam called her name.

“Kira.”

The girl turned around and Liam embraced her in a short, but tight, hug. “Thank you,” he mumbled against her hair, before letting go.

Kira smiled, held his hand for a beat longer, and then turned around. “Come on, let’s find our presents.”

Liam grinned and they went to look in the other rooms. Eventually, they found three more clues, that each said which word was either the first, second, or third digit of a code. When returned downstairs, a box had suddenly appeared on the dining table and in it, was a key. Lydia was messing with the lock.

“Come on, open…” she muttered, yanking the padlock.

“You already finished?” Kira asked.

“Well, we thought we had the code, but apparently we don’t,” Lydia answered in an annoyed tone.

“Where did you find the box?” Liam asked.

Scott looked up at him. “We didn’t. Stiles and Mason did, but they didn’t have the right code either.”

Suddenly the front door flew open and Mason and Stiles ran into the living room. Apparently it was snowing again, for they were covered in it.

“Move away from the box!” Stiles shouted. “We figured out the code.”

“No! We’re trying next!” Kira replied, hurriedly taking a defensive stance before Stiles.

Stiles scoffed. “What? You don’t think I’d push a girl?”

“I do,” Kira answered, hands on her hips. “But I don’t think you can.”

Stiles gave her an offended look and a second later the two were trying to fight each other off, as far away from the box as possible. At the same moment, Liam locked eyes with Mason and made a run for it. Lydia screeched and Scott quickly pulled her out of the way of the two teenagers that came at them like bulls. However, Mason proved to be a tiny bit faster, for he was holding the lock now, whereas Liam was holding his hand.

“No, no, no!” he screamed, watching Mason put in the right code.

The lock clicked and unlocked.

“We did it!” Mason yelled, throwing up his hands to show Stiles the key.

Stiles grinned arrogantly at Kira, who finally let go off his hair with a beaten sigh.

The two boys ran off, excitedly chanting, “We won! We won!”

Malia wrapped an arm around Kira’s neck. “Good game, though,” she said. “Now wait until you hear what the prize is.” She smirked.

The winners came back, arms full of presents, and splayed them on the floor in front of the fireplace. The others sat down on the sofas, except for Malia.

“Well done, team yellow!” she announced.

Stiles and Mason cheered again, while Scott, Lydia, Kira, and Liam booed at them.

“Your brute strength and cunning abilities have earned you the title of successful scavengers,” Malia continued. “And now, for your prize…”

The room fell quiet as Malia built up the tension. She looked around at each one of them before her mouthed opened and said, “You both win cooking and washing up responsibilities for tonight!”

Mason and Stiles gaped at her. The others burst out laughing.

“What?! That’s crap!” Stiles exclaimed.

“Oh, come on,” Malia replied. “Look in front of you. There are enough presents and prizes to go around. Don’t worry, you’ll get something you like.”

Mason and Stiles huffed, but in the end accepted their fate.

The gang spent the next two hours unwrapping their presents, laughing at silly ones and cooing at thoughtful ones. Liam was relieved to see that everyone seemed to like what he had gotten all of them, which lifted a massive weight off his shoulders. Well, one of the weights, at least. He still had to do his tradition tomorrow.

And then there was Scott, of course.

Eventually, the day turned to evening, and Mason cooked omelettes . Stiles whined about doing the dishes afterwards, and begged for Scott to help him out, but Scott had to prepare his event. When he left through the front door, Liam sucked in a deep breath, as if Scott’s presence throughout the afternoon had obstructed him from breathing.

Two more days, and then everything would be back to normal again.

Scott came back in half an hour later, announcing everything was ready and advising everyone to dress warmly. Liam pulled on his gloves and his thick winter coat. Lydia asked what they were going to do, but Scott didn’t want to tell them yet. Instead, he wanted to show them.

It was still snowing outside and the group took off towards the woods, where only the moon served as a small beacon of light.

“Okay,” Scott said, turning around and making the group come to a halt. “Everyone hold hands and close your eyes.”

Everyone groaned. It was typical of Scott to make a whole ordeal out of it. Nevertheless, Lydia reminded them no one was allowed to complain, so Liam took Mason and Kira’s hands and closed his eyes.

They shuffled forward, snow cracking under their shoes, careful not to trip on anything. When Liam started to wonder how much further they still had to go, Scott announced that they were there.

Liam opened his eyes. His jaw dropped at the sight in front of him. They were stood at the foot of a hill that was covered in a thick layer of snow. There were hardly any trees around, like an open spot, and the contours of the hill were illuminated, indicating three, straight, downward tracks. Scott took off his backpack and started handing out small black tubes.

“Glow in the dark sledding,” he said, voice thick with pride.

The group was speechless. _Glow in the dark sledding_. Only Scott McCall could come up with something so insanely amazing. Liam’s heart swelled, because Scott had definitely spent hours prepping this. There were three plastic sleds and one wooden one, which also had glow in the dark sticks strapped to them. In the dark, with the fluffy snow, the place looked simply magical. That was Scott: magical. That’s how he perceived his friendship with them to be, as something beautiful, as something that lit up that way, as something special.

“There are more sticks in the tubes I gave you,” Scott explained, opening one of them. He took out two, broke them so that they lit up orange and pink, and stuck them together before putting them around his neck. “You can put them on.”

Obviously, everyone immediately started opening their tubes.

“Scott, this is amazing,” Lydia said. “You are officially forgiven for it not being a specific Christmas tradition.”

Scott grinned excitedly.

“Told you it was going to be great,” Stiles said.

“Yeah, but still,” Mason commented. “Did not see this one coming.”

“It’s only because I love you guys so much,” Scott said.

Everyone groaned again, kicking snow up into his face. Scott chuckled.

Liam was still flabbergasted. See what he had to deal with? How could he not like this guy? Who comes up with this? He was playing with the dark sticks in his hands, while others were lighting them up and putting them around their necks, wrists, and even ankles. Of course, Stiles had put a green one in front of his teeth and was announcing he was a monster.

“Don’t put them in your mouth,” Lydia said, pulling the stick from between his lips with her gloved hands. “These things are highly toxic. If they burst and you swallow some you die.”

Liam chuckled, looking back at his own again.

“You have to break them,” Scott said, suddenly appearing in front of him.

Liam blushed. “I know,” he mumbled.

“Here,” Scott said. “Let me help.” Before Liam could say anything, Scott had already taken the tube from his hands and was breaking one of them. It started illuminating a neon yellow light, and Scott stuck the ends together, putting it on Liam’s head.

“Now you’re an angel,” Scott said goofily.

And Liam wanted to punch himself in the gut, because it was so incredibly fucking ridiculous, yet his stomach was doing nervous backflips. He quickly took back the tube, mumbling something along the lines of ‘I can do it’, and doing just that. When he had finally used up his sticks, Malia, Scott, Stiles, and Mason were already halfway up the hill, followed by Lydia and Kira. Liam sighed, hesitating for a moment, but then started on his journey, leaving the halo on his head.

At the top, Stiles was the first to grab a plastic sled and race down. Everyone watched him in awe, seeing if he wouldn’t fall or slam into anything. When he didn’t, Malia and Mason felt reassured enough to take a sled each as well and flew off.

“This is awesome!” Mason shouted from the bottom, running back up. Stiles and Malia did the same.

Scott jumped up, grabbing the wooden sled. He placed it on the edge of the hill, putting his feet on either side and holding the rope that was attached to the front. It required a bit of stumbling, but eventually he was in position.

“Anyone want to go with me?” he asked, turning around with a broad smile.

Liam looked at the girls, but they both shook their heads.

“We’re fine watching for a bit,” Kira answered.

“Oh, come on, it’s not scary,” Scott assured them. “There’s nothing around that you can run into. And the snow’s soft.”

Lydia took a step back. “Nah, we’re good.”

Scott then averted his attention to Liam, whose heart skipped a beat.

“Liam?”

The boy looked from Scott to the girls, back to Scott. He opened his mouth and stammered something inaudible, but then Mason elbowed him from behind. In his mind, Liam could hear him say, “Friends sled with their friends.”

“Sure…” Liam said softly, shuffling forward.

“Yes!” Scott exclaimed, scooting backwards and patting the space between his legs. “Come on, get on.”

Liam briefly flicked his eyes up at the sky. He didn’t necessarily believe in a God, but if they were there, they sure knew how to mess with him. He sighed, stepping around the sled and carefully scooting down.

Scott gave him the ropes. “Here, hold on to these.”

Liam took them, and was right about to ask Scott what he was supposed to hold on to, but froze when Scott’s arms slid around his waist. He pulled Liam back a little – or himself forward, whatever – and the boy was now sitting between Scott’s thighs. They were warm and Liam wanted to die right then and there.

“Ready?”

No.

“Go!”

Scott kicked off as Liam held up his feet and they started accelerating down. Liam’s hair swept up with the speed with which they swooshed down, his halo flying off, and the wind watering his eyes. Adrenaline pumped through his veins and when he heard Scott screaming behind him, he broke out laughing and did the same. Scott squeezed his grip around his waist and Liam’s heart was racing as fast as the sled.

But as they reached the bottom, the sled suddenly started to tilt to the left. The track that Scott had splayed out with glow in the dark sticks closed in on them, until they rushed over it. The sled lifted on one side and right when Liam started fearing what was about to happen, it was already happening, and he and Scott were thrown off.

Scott fell on top of him, but Liam rolled over him, then Scott again over Liam, Liam over Scott, Scott over Liam, until finally all the noise had died around them and Liam was lying on top of Scott. He moaned, pushing himself up.

He met Scott’s eyes and something bubbled up between and they burst out laughing. Liam let himself fall back on top of Scott again, accidentally inhaling a mouthful of snow, which caused Scott to laugh even louder.

“Are you okay?” the older guy asked softly when they had both caught their breath again.

Liam nodded. “Yeah, fine,” he answered, voice just as quiet, and maybe it was because of the aftermath of – what felt like – a near-death-experience, or maybe it was just the heat of Scott’s breath against the coldness of his face, but suddenly the two boys found their gazes lingering and all the sounds and smells evaporated around Liam’s head, his vision tunnelling, only seeing Scott; his slightly flustered cheeks, his friendly dark eyes, his lips, and Liam inched his face a little closer, so little that it was barely visible, and had he imagined it or was Scott doing the same? But before he could fully comprehend what was going on his eyes fluttered shut and his lips were grazing Scott’s lips; barely touching, a fleeting moment, but wonderful all the same, and suddenly a wave of this almost animalistic traction that he couldn’t quite resist – didn’t want to resist – washed over him, beating the air from his lungs, causing his heart to race, pressing his lips tighter against Scott’s in an airless kiss that made him feel king of the world, but also watched that world obliterate around him at the same time into a blissful nothingness where he couldn’t think, couldn’t speak.

Until a familiar voice sucked him back into reality.

“Are you guys okay?” Mason asked, panting heavily. He had run down the hill.

Liam’s eyes widened, quickly rolling off of Scott and getting up onto his feet. He patted the snow from his clothes. “Yeah, we’re okay,” he answered, trying to sound as casual as he could.

Scott stood up as well, mimicking Liam’s motions. He smiled. “We’re fine.”

“It looked like some fall,” Mason said. “What happened?”

Liam shrugged. “Don’t know. The sled started to turn and next thing we knew we were thrown off.”

“As long as you’re not hurt,” Mason said.

Liam glanced over his shoulder, back at Scott, as Mason went back up the hill. “No…not hurt,” he muttered quietly.

One by one, they all way went down the hill a couple of times more – even Kira and Lydia. If Liam had once thought kissing Scott would be the best thing in the world, it had now turned out to be the worst. Scott was acting like nothing had happened, making Liam think that it may have been a spur of the moment kind of thing. Maybe Scott had just kissed him because he was feeling lonely, or maybe he had just been silly and wanted to try it, or maybe…oh God...had Scott even kissed him? The last thing Liam remembered was him closing in on Scott, not the other way around.

He watched Scott from the back, an unnerving feeling settling heavy in his stomach.

For the rest of the evening, the moment played itself over and over again in his head. He couldn’t think of anything else, even in bed he constantly came back to the same question.

Had Scott kissed him back?


	3. Sunday

Christmas dinner. That was the only tradition Liam had with his parents. They didn’t have games, didn’t have ice skating, didn’t have glow in the dark sledding, no, they just had dinner, and thus it was what Liam was doing for his friends.

He rose that morning with a nauseous feeling. His nerves were at a high, he knew, and the thing that had happened with Scott was still going round and round in his mind. It was a little past half ten – they had slept for quite a long time – when he went downstairs. Lydia was in the kitchen, which was filled with the smell of freshly baked pancakes. Normally, Liam’s stomach would have rumbled, but now he wasn’t hungry.

“Good morning!” Lydia said cheerily. “How’d you sleep?”

Liam scratched the back of his head. He was hoping he would find her. “Fine, thanks. You?”

“Very well, thank you,” she answered.

“I, err…I actually came to ask for your help,” Liam offered awkwardly.

Lydia swiftly turned around. “My help? Sure, what’s up?”

“Well…I was going to cook Christmas dinner today-”

“Your tradition is Christmas dinner?!” Lydia screeched. Liam covered his ears. “Yes! I love it! Do you need help cooking?”

“Well...not really,” Liam answered, even though the prospect of receiving help with this horrendous task didn’t completely appal him. “I need to do some shopping, so I was wondering if you could drive me. Mason is coming, too.”

“Of course, sweetie!” Lydia exclaimed. She looked at the plate full of pancakes. “I should probably stop cooking then, you know, so we have plenty of space for your lovely dinner.”

Liam faked a smile. He should’ve asked Stiles for help. Then everyone would have stuffed themselves with breakfast and wouldn’t be hungry by the time he served dinner.

His stomach turned.

“I’ll drive you straight after breakfast,” Lydia assured him.

Liam smiled. The table in the front room was set up not long afterwards, everyone hungrily devouring the pancakes Lydia had made while she was watched them with a content smile.

“I thought your mother cooked breakfast on Christmas day?” Malia asked.

Lydia shrugged lightly. “Doesn’t mean I can’t.”

“So what’s the plan for later?” Stiles asked when all their plates were empty.

“Well, Mason, Liam and I have important business to attend to later, and then Liam will have his part of the weekend.”

The group cooed.

Liam fidgeted on his chair. “Just don’t get your hopes up, okay?” he said.

“Of course we will,” Mason replied. “It’s going to be amazing.”

“What kind of amazing?” Stiles wanted to know.

Mason snickered. “Nope. You’re not getting anything out of me.”

“Come on! We’re team yellow!”

“Exactly,” Mason said. “You made me cook. Now you suffer.”

Stiles pouted and the gang laughed.

Liam, Lydia, and Mason left half an hour later. It was at least an hour’s drive until the first store, so if Liam wanted to serve dinner at 5, they really had to get going.

The drive was uneventful. Liam sat in the back while Mason and Lydia sang along to Christmas music on the radio. To be honest, Liam was fine with that. He didn’t mind being pushed to the background for a while. That way he could stare out the window and think (or overthink, more likely).

“Alright, you boys go inside and do your shopping. I’m going to wait here and call my mom,” Lydia said.

Liam and Mason nodded, opening their doors.

“Have you got your list?” Mason asked after they had gotten a cart and stepped into the store.

“Right here on my phone,” Liam answered.

“Nervous?”

“Terrified.”

Mason patted his shoulder. “You’ll be fine. If you need any help during the day, just shout.”

Liam nodded, appreciating the gesture. Even though he knew his stubborn nature would make sure he’d be damned to ask for help. If he was going to fail miserably, he was going to do it by himself. There was nothing worse than having someone help you and then still fail.

“Right, I need…yams, green beans, cranberries, and lemon,” Liam said when they approached the fruit and vegetable aisle.

“Done,” Mason said, rolling around and putting the items into the cart. “Next.”

“A turkey.”

They went to the meat aisle and looked around, but couldn’t find any. Liam looked around the store, and slowly but surely it started to dawn on him that this wasn’t the kind of grocery store that they had in Beacon Hills. It was much smaller, which meant, no turkey. He bit his lip.

“Dude, I don’t think they have any,” Mason stated the obvious.

Liam nodded. Of course they didn’t. It was Christmas Day for crying out loud. Even if they had had any at some point, they were all gone by now.

Liam groaned. “What should I do?”

Mason shrugged. “They have chicken. Why don’t you get that?”

Liam hesitated, but Mason told him it was either that or nothing, so, with reluctance, Liam picked one up from the fridges.

“It says it feeds 4-6 people,” he said. “Should I get two?”

“I don’t know, would two fit in the oven?” Mason asked.

“I don’t know…” Liam trailed off. God, he already felt like a complete loser. He hadn’t even started cooking yet! “We’ll get some extra yams and vegetables,” he decided.

“Sounds good to me,” Mason said. “At least we won’t be hungry.”

They strolled through the store, grabbing everything they needed. Liam didn’t look at Mason when he said, “Scott and I kissed last night.”

Mason stopped dead in his tracks. “You what?”

“Yup. I know.”

“Dude, that’s great!”

Liam shook his head. “It’s really not.”

Mason’s face fell. “Oh no…did he blow you off?”

“Not really…” Liam admitted. “But I feel weird about it.”

“Why do you feel weird?”

“Because…” he sighed. “Because…I can’t remember if he actually kissed me back.” His stomach flipped again. Liam rubbed it. “It’s making me feel sick.”

Mason frowned. “Sick? Why?”

Liam bit his lip, looking around himself to see if any strangers could hear them. “I kind of feel like…I don’t know, I feel like I’ve done something wrong…but in, like, a bad way.”

“You mean like you forced him into it?”

Liam shrugged. Hearing the words made him feel nauseous again. “Maybe? I don’t know.”

“Dude,” Mason said. “I’m sure Scott doesn’t see it that way. Have you talked about it?”

“No, of course we haven’t talked about it,” Liam answered. “Scott just pretended like nothing happened. I think…” He swallowed. “I think I’ve embarrassed him…”

Mason tilted his head. He wrapped an arm around Liam’s shoulders. “Just…just try not to think about it, okay?” he said. “Focus on dinner. We can solve this later.”

Liam nodded.

“What else do you need?”

It took a while, but eventually they worked through Liam’s list. They went to the counter, where Mason had a heart attack, but Liam’s mom had been kind enough to already prepare him for the worst, and given him some money towards dinner. He often didn’t feel like talking to them, but sure, he could definitely take their money (“another teenager thing,” his mom had said).

They rolled the cart back to the car and loaded the groceries into the back.

“Got everything you need?” Lydia asked when they stepped in.

“Had to make some changes, but we did the best we could,” Mason answered.

Lydia waved her hand, starting the car. “I’m sure it’ll be delicious.”

Liam’s stomach cringed again. He wanted to scream at them not to expect too much.

The drive back was much the same as the first; Lydia and Mason singing, Liam left alone with his thoughts. Maybe he should go about dinner as a distraction. Then again, it would be hard for it not to be one, given he was going to need all of his focus not to mess it up. It wasn’t like he had cooked a lot before. His mom had given him some of her recipes, but he figured practice was very different from theory when it came to cooking. Mainly because you needed a good sense of judgment as to when something was ready (yes, maybe he had Googled ‘frequent cooking mistakes’ before coming along on the trip).

They were back at the lake house by two. Lydia asked how to get the groceries inside unnoticed, so that they wouldn’t give away Liam’s plan. But, of course, Liam hadn’t thought about that, so he ended up saying that everyone would probably figure it out at some point anyway, given that he was going to disappear into the kitchen for a while.

Lydia and Mason thought that made sense, so instead they just went through the front door, plastic bags in hands.

“Oh, oh, oh!” Stiles exclaimed, bouncing on the sofa. “You’re cooking Christmas dinner!”

Malia threw a pillow at his head. “Well done, smartass.”

Liam, Lydia, and Mason ignored them and put the groceries in the kitchen.

“Do you need help putting everything away?” Lydia asked.

Liam shook his head. “Nah, I’ll be fine.” In all honesty, he had quite enjoyed being left alone in the car, so he was looking forward to the same thing for the next couple of hours, even though he feared the cooking part of it.

Mason wished him good luck and Liam started to put away the groceries, deciding what he needed to do first. Probably the chicken, because that would take the longest. He got a large baking tray from the oven and took the chicken out of the plastic. He washed it under the faucet and put it in, looking at its legs, that were bound together. Was he supposed to cut them lose?

He debated the option for a while, in the end deciding that he should, since he had to shove lemon and onion up its…you know. He snickered at the thought.

A couple of minutes later the chicken was seasoned and ready to go in, at which point Liam realized he hadn’t turned the oven on yet, before sighing at himself as he did just that. His mom’s recipe also said that he needed to cover the chicken with foil, so he went searching through the cupboards.

But it turned out they didn’t have any. Liam crossed his arms in front of his chest. He needed to think. Cooking was logical. Surely, you’d put the foil on to keep more heat inside, so if he turned up the oven just a little bit, it probably wouldn’t matter. Yeah, that sounded right. He smiled, turning the knob a few degrees higher.

Maybe cooking was easier than he thought.

He started working on the other elements of the dinner. Gradually, it got hotter and hotter, and little pearls of sweat started to form on his forehead. He was an hour and a half in, when Scott came in.

“Hey, chef,” he said jokingly. “How’s it going?”

Liam was making his cranberry sauce, his back turned to Scott, and he froze. He hadn’t thought about the guy for a while, but now that he was in the room alone with him, all his nerves came back to him.

“Busy,” Liam grumbled in response, continuing his work.

“Need any help?”

“No.”

Scott lingered in the kitchen for a beat longer, making Liam even more nervous. What did he want? Liam had said he didn’t need any help, so why wasn’t he leaving him alone? No, instead, Scott moved next to him, leaning his back against the counter.

“I was just wondering if you had time to talk,” Scott said.

Ah, that was why. He wanted to talk about last night. Liam sighed deeply. Forget it, he might as well get it over with. He took the spoon out of the sauce and turned to face him.

“Look, Scott,” he started. “I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have…” He swallowed. “I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

Scott raised his eyebrows – shit, maybe that wasn’t what he wanted to talk about. Of course it wasn’t, Scott had probably already forgotten about it. Liam mentally kicked himself, but he had already started talking, so the only thing he could do was try to make this the least awkward as possible.

“I don’t know what came over me,” he continued. “I guess it was just…maybe I just felt festive because of Christmas, I don’t know.” He turned away again, grabbing the salt and slowly sprinkling it into his sauce. “Or maybe I felt lonely because Mason keeps going on about Corey.” He sighed. “Anyway, I shouldn’t have, and I’m sorry.”

Scott blinked at him for a couple of seconds.

“Oh,” he said, before shrugging it off. “Okay. Well, that clears that up, then.”

Liam nodded, faking a half-smile. An uncomfortable silence fell between them – of course it was uncomfortable, he had just apologized for sexually assaulting his friend.

“Look, I really still have quite a lot of stuff to do…” Liam muttered, indicating towards the kitchen counter with his hand.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Scott replied. “I’ll leave you to it.”

“Thanks.”

Before he left the room, Scott turned around and said, “Good luck. I’m sure it’ll be delicious.”

Liam wiped the sweat off his forehead, taking a deep breath. They had cleared the air between them, and Scott was cool about it, so why did he still feel so miserable? Shouldn’t he feel better? At least now he knew for sure that nothing was going on between them and that he had imagined it all.

He bit the inside of his cheek, and started stirring more vigorously. Splatters of cranberry sauce flew onto the stove as his throat closed up, which irritated him even more. He had to suck it up and get over it. No tears. It wasn’t worth crying over. From the moment he had started to like Scott he knew he was doomed, so no crying.

The timer went off beside him, indicating that the needed to check on the chicken. He opened the oven, peering through the hot steam that came out of it. With his hand covered by an oven mitten, he pulled out the tray the chicken was on. The top had started to blacken. Liam rolled his eyes at himself. Surely that couldn’t be right. Why was it burning already? It had only been in for an hour and a half. It still had another hour to go.

The foil.

He balled his fist. You didn’t put it on to keep the heat in, but to protect the top from burning. Instead, he had made it even worse by making it hotter. Liam groaned, turning down the oven.

His parents had taught him to compartmentalize his thoughts. Whenever he could feel himself getting worked up, he needed to try and put those feelings somewhere else in his mind, and focus on something else. Or he had to count and concentrate on his breathing.

He decided to start working on the yams, and started peeling them. It was one of the most annoying things, he found. The peeler kept jamming into the potato, probably because it was blunt, which meant he needed to use more and more force.

As the cooking reached the finish line, so did Liam’s patience. At half past five, dinner was finally almost ready to be served, and just in time as well. When Liam came into the living room with plates and cutlery, Stiles asked if it was almost ready. His friends were hungry. Liam faked a smile and said he was almost done. With shaking hands, he set out the plates and cutlery, then went back to the kitchen and came out again with glasses. He put down a jug with fresh water and Lydia appeared with some red wine she’d pulled from a cupboard somewhere. Liam retreated back to the kitchen and started on heating everything up.

Half an hour later, he served everything on the table and called everyone to eat. The group cheered and Liam stood at the head of the table with balled fists. The chicken was burned and looked like an embarrassment altogether, but his friends all commented on how great it looked, which irritated Liam immensely. He ignored their comments and went to divide everything over the plates. Stiles asked for a few more yams and Liam was afraid he wouldn’t have enough for anyone else, but it wasn’t like he could deny Stiles his perfectly sane request, so he gave him more anyway, and worked it out by giving himself a few less. Lydia opened and poured some wine for everyone, and when Liam had finally sat down, they all clinked their glasses together. Liam took a big gulp and swallowed with closed eyes. Maybe the alcohol would soothe him a little.

He picked up his cutlery and started digging into his dinner. He ate one of the green beans, which honestly were a bit bland. His eyes then fell on the piece of chicken and he noticed that it was still a little pink inside. Somehow he had managed to over and undercook it at the same time. To make matters worse, Malia pointed it out, and said it would probably be better if they didn’t eat it, because you could get really sick from eating raw poultry.

Liam was grinding his teeth together, but smiled nonetheless. His throat was closing up again and he would be damned if he was going to start crying during Christmas dinner. He needed to stop and get out of his head. Twenty-one, twenty-two.

Twenty-three. He took a little bit of the cranberry sauce on his fork. Twenty-four.

“This is really good, Liam, well done,” Lydia commented. Twenty-five. She was lying.

Twenty-six. Liam licked the sauce off his fork, but when he tasted it on his tongue, he threw down the fork. It was salty. Twenty-seven. Salt! He had put salt in the sauce, not sugar! Twenty-eight.

“Yeah, man, you did really well.”

Twenty-nine.

Mason was lying too. He stared down at his plate. Thirty. His vision started to blur. They were all lying. Thirty-one. This dinner was fucking horrible. He hadn’t just messed up a little bit, but possibly everything. Thirty-two. Even the bread was dry, because he had left it out for too long. Thirty-three. Scott smiled at him. Thirty-four. He put his balled fists under the table, onto his lap, heart pounding rapidly against his chest. Don’t explode. Thirty-five. Scott didn’t like him. Thirty-six. He could feel his frustration building and building and building and-

“Good job, Liam,” Scott said.

Liam rammed his fist onto the table. Wine spilled out of the glasses onto the wooden table and everyone looked up at him in shock.

“Stop lying!” Liam exclaimed. “I know you’re all lying. Stop lying!”

“Dude,” Mason started in a shushing tone. “It’s fine, honest-”

“NO, IT’S NOT!” Liam shouted.

His arm flung across the table, sending his plate flying. It shattered to pieces on the wooden floor. The room fell quiet. They all stared at Liam, eyes wide with shock.

“I hate Christmas, and I hate this fucking weekend. I knew I shouldn’t have come!” the boy shouted as he jumped up and stormed off.

He took his shoes and slammed the front door shut. The string of Christmas cards that they had put up at the start of the weekend fell down behind him. On the porch, he kicked his shoes on, fuming. His breathing was quick and vigorous, blood boiling with anger. He ran out into the snow to the nearest tree, and punched it. When his fist collided with the bark, the frustration exited his body, making the tree shiver. Snow whirled down from its branches. Liam’s knuckles pulsated in line with his heartbeat, warm pain shooting through him like an arrow, up his arm, into his spine. He choked out a sob, holding his hand in the other, seeing his skin covered in small dots of blood.

Now focusing on the pain instead of his anger, the severity of the situation started to dawn on him.

He had messed up.

He had allowed his I.E.D. to get the better of him and exploded in front of all his friends. If they didn’t find him pathetic already, they sure did now. The wind blew into his face and he shivered and Liam realized he had forgotten his coat. He put up his hoodie, wrapping his arms around his shoulders which were wet from the melted snow that had fallen on them, and slumped back to the porch, not wanting to go back inside. He’d rather freeze to death than face his friends.

So he sat down on the bench, further down the veranda. It had been too much, he thought. But the worst thing about that was that he had already suspected it upon coming here. From the moment Lydia announced her plan, he knew he was going to get stressed about it. He should’ve listened to himself and should’ve stayed home, but instead he had gone anyway, only to mess himself up even more. Why had he kissed Scott? He knew beforehand nothing good was going to come out of that. Did he just have this natural tendency to self-destruct? Was he doomed?

That whirlwind of thoughts kept going round in his mind, constantly replaying everything that had happened; taunting him, embarrassing him. He couldn’t believe he had let himself slip like that.

The worst thing about his episodes was the sense of shame that followed afterwards. The fact that he had to own up to what he had done eventually and see everyone’s shocked and disappointed looks. The guilt that would grow like a heavy boulder on his head, pushing him down, making him smaller, stripping him of his power until he was nothing but a sad little boy that could only beg for forgiveness from the people who once loved him. It was mortifying.

Eventually, Liam lost track of the time. He didn’t know how long he had been sitting on that bench, but given the light was still falling out of the window from inside, he knew he couldn’t go back inside yet. He would wait until everyone was asleep. Then, in the morning, they would finally go home. He could just stay in bed until they called him, leaving him with only the car ride to deal with, which he might be able to manage.

Beside him, the door cracked open. Liam slumped in on himself, not wanting to look who was coming to check on him. He just wanted to be left alone.

“Hot cocoa?” Scott asked, holding a steaming mug in front of his face.

It broke him. He sniffed, eyes welling up. Only Scott could come out after such an affair and simply ask if he wanted ‘hot cocoa’. The gesture made it seem like nothing had happened, like he had just been enjoying the nightly air and Scott came out to do the same, maybe have a chat. Tears fell into his lap, high-pitched breaths hitching in his throat.

“Hey, don’t cry,” Scott said – and, God, he sounded so sweet – putting the mugs onto the small table in front of them. He put his hand on Liam’s back, moving it up and down soothingly.

Liam cried, moving away from Scott’s touch. Knowing himself, he would probably start getting crazy ideas in his head. He didn’t want that. After their talk in the kitchen, Liam had realized he needed to face facts: Scott didn’t like him. He had to get over it and that wasn’t going to happen if Scott kept touching him.

Scott’s hand slowly slid from his back, leaving Liam cold again. “The dinner wasn’t that bad,” he added softly.

Liam closed his eyes. His strength was up. He couldn’t hold it in any longer. The ice started melting. “I-It’s not just a-about the dinner,” he said between sobs.

He could feel Scott move closer. “It’s not?”

Liam shook his head.

“Then what is it about?” Scott asked, his voice still gentle and quiet. His head was now resting on his hands, elbows on his knees.

Liam sniffed, wiping his nose. He pressed his lips together, trying to stop crying.

To add insult to injure, Scott carefully pulled down Liam’s hood. He felt exposed, naked, with Scott’s prying eyes watching him cry. His eyes glanced to the side to meet his for a brief moment, noticing that he was wrong. Scott’s eyes weren’t prying, they were concerned. Even in half a second, he could tell. He was sad. He was sympathizing. He cared.

Liam let out a deep, trembling breath. He wasn’t getting out of this one, not before he had told Scott what was bothering him. He could, but it would require another episode, and he had run out of places to storm off to. Cornered and stuck, he started speaking.

“Y-You confuse me, so much,” he said.

Scott moved his head back, surprised. “I confuse you?” he repeated. “What do you mean?”

Liam’s bottom lip trembled. The lump in his throat had started to hurt. “I…I like y-you,” he answered, breath still hitching. “And y-you don’t like m-me, but…but y-you are so nice. It’s c-confusing.”

Scott’s shoulder slumped down. “Oh, boy…” he said in a deep sigh. “Come here.”

He wrapped his arms around Liam’s small frame and closed the distance between them. This time, Liam didn’t resist him. Instead, he fell into the crook of Scott’s neck, crying softly.

“You’re cold,” Scott said, pulling Liam closer against him. His hand tangled in his hair while his other found his back again, stroking quietly. They rocked back and forth in slow, steady motions.

When Liam had finally stopped crying, Scott spoke up, “I’m sorry that I confuse you.”

Liam smiled sadly – not that Scott could see it. He wiped his face dry with his sleeve, but didn’t move from Scott’s embrace.

“But, to be honest, you confuse me, too.”

Liam’s eyebrows knitted together. Now, he did move away, so he could lock eyes with the guy. Liam’s cheeks were flustered. Scott’s hands remained on his upper body.

“What?” Liam simply asked. “How?”

Scott frowned at him, but then smiled. “Are you kidding?” he asked. “First you fall quiet after I rubbed that facial on you, then you clearly let off that something is bothering you, only to admit it later on, when we’re sitting around the campfire. Yesterday you held my hands, teaching me how to skate, but then when I said I didn’t want to anymore, you were mad at me. Again, you keep your distance throughout the rest of the day, only to kiss me when we went sledding!”

“Well…” Liam muttered, rubbing his hands together uncomfortably. “I apologised for that, didn’t I?”

“Exactly!” Scott agreed. “At first I thought, ‘Great! This is going somewhere!’ But then the moment Mason came down to check on us you acted all jumpy and acted like nothing had happened, so I thought you just needed time to work things out, which is why I kept quiet as well. But then, when you were cooking, you suddenly apologized and said that it was a mistake. What am I supposed to think?”

Liam stared at Scott, his mouth ajar. “You…you thought it was going somewhere?” he stammered.

“Of course I did!” Scott exclaimed, now chuckling. “You kissed me, dude.”

“So...” Liam swallowed. “So are you saying you do like me?”

Scott looked at him, gobsmacked. “Are you serious? Why do you think I’m out here talking to you right now, and not Mason?”

Liam blinked a couple of times. Surely, this wasn’t real. Had he misinterpreted everything? Every single sign? No…that couldn’t be. This was a dream. That was the only explanation.

“But…” Scott broke the silence that had fallen between them in the meantime. “But is that why you’ve been acting so weird lately? Is that why you exploded back in there? Because of me?”

Liam lowered his eyes, shrugging lightly. He didn’t want to make it sound like it was all Scott’s fault.

Scott put his hand on the boy’s knee. “Liam…I’m sorry.”

“It’s not all because of you,” Liam sighed, wiping his eyes again. “I was already on edge about this whole Christmas tradition thing.”

Scott smiled weakly. “And I just was the last push.”

Liam scrunched his nose. “No…I should have told you a long time ago.”

Both boys sighed in unison.

“What happened to your hand?” Scott asked, nodding towards Liam’s blood-covered knuckles. His hand moved from his knee and he held it carefully.

“Punched a tree,” Liam mumbled shamefully.

Scott scooted a little closer, examining the wounds. He tentatively placed his other hand over Liam’s knuckles, as if, when he pulled off, Liam’s hand would magically have healed.

They sat like that for a couple of minutes; with Scott holding Liam’s hand and with Liam looking around at the trees in front of them. The world seemed a little brighter. The snow was glowing with a faint white light and Liam noticed his muscles had completely relaxed.

“I can’t believe I broke Lydia’s plate,” he said after a while.

Scott smiled one of his comforting smiles. “That’s okay. She isn’t mad.”

“Are you sure?” Liam asked. “It was her one rule: don’t break anything.”

“I’m sure,” Scott reassured him. “Everyone knows about your I.E.D. and they’re your friends. It happens. We all have flaws, and we all slip up sometimes.”

“Except for you,” Liam said, sounding more bitter than he had intended.

Scott shook his head. “I confuse people.”

Liam showed a guilty smile. Scott did the same, and then softly squeezed his hand. “But come on, let’s go back inside. Mason still needs to have his turn.”

He got up, but Liam was still a little bit scared of facing everyone. Scott stuck his arms out, which made Liam chuckle, because it was a typical, silly Scott McCall move. Nevertheless, he rose onto his feet and hugged his friend.

They walked back to the front door, Scott opening it and stepping inside, Liam shuffling after him.

Everyone was sitting on the sofa, wrapped up in blankets with hot drinks in their hands. They all stared at Liam when he finally had the courage to meet their gazes. His fingers were nervously fumbling with each other in front of his hips.

“I’m sorry about my outburst,” he muttered, looking towards the floor again. “And, I’m sorry I broke your plate.” His eyes flicked over at Lydia’s, briefly.

Lydia put down her drink and threw off her blanket. She got up, and for a second Liam thought she was coming in for the kill, but instead she gently kissed him on the cheek.

“That’s okay, sweetie.”

Liam blushed, awkwardly smiling at her.

The others got up as well, and they all hugged around Liam.

“Group cuddle!” Stiles announced, and Liam chuckled, enjoying their warmth around him.

His heart was melting.

“Okay, now that that’s settled,” Mason said. “Let’s do my Christmas tradition: watching The Holiday and eating chocolate.”

Everyone cheered loudly, moving back to their seats. Scott got a blanket and some pillows and threw them in between the coffee table and the sofa that was facing the TV. He sat down and patted the spot next to him invitingly. Liam’s stomach flipped and he moved over, receiving a wink from Mason when he passed him on the armchair. Liam’s cheeks heated up.

He sat down, Scott wrapping an arm around his shoulders and Liam cuddled into his chest. Behind him, Kira ruffled his hair and Stiles wiggled his eyebrows. Liam chuckled.

“Everyone ready?” Mason asked, holding up the remote in mid-air.

The group nodded and Mason hit ‘play’. The movie started and a content sigh slipped out of Liam’s mouth.

Maybe this weekend wasn’t as disastrous after all.


	4. Monday

They finished the movie a little after midnight. The gang yawned, and Liam crawled out from under Scott’s arm.

“I can’t believe the weekend is over,” Lydia said after a while.

Malia hugged her.

“That’s okay. We still have tomorrow morning,” Mason said.

“And we had fun,” Stiles commented.

Scott smiled. “Yeah, it was a very special weekend,” he said, squeezing Liam’s hand under the blankets. Liam grinned, his cheeks warm.

They were ready to go to bed soon after, and just like they had before, they all hugged each other before they went upstairs. When most of them had gone and only Scott and Liam were left downstairs, Liam went to the toilet.

When he came back, Scott had pushed the coffee table out of the way and put all the pillows and blankets in front of the fireplace.

“You want to sleep here?” he asked with an excited smile, biting his bottom lip.

“Yes,” Liam answered whole-heartedly. “I just have to get my pyjamas from upstairs.”

“Do you want me to get mine as well?” Scott asked.

Liam’s ears heated up. He kicked the floor. “I don’t mind,” he answered, although he wasn’t sure if that was true. After the whole extravaganza that weekend his nerves had peaked, so he didn’t know if he was ready for more to happen. Sure, he was a healthy, red-blooded teenager, but the timing just didn’t feel right. He was done stressing about things – at least for one night.

“I’ll get mine,” Scott said, smiling gently.

When Liam entered his bedroom, Mason was still awake. He immediately sat up when the light switched on, wiggling his eyebrows at his friend. Liam gave him a look.

“So...?” Mason asked.

Liam grabbed his pyjamas from the bed and started to change. “So what?”

“Oh, come on,” Mason exclaimed. “You and Scott? What’s happening? Are you together?”

Liam casually shrugged his shoulders. “Not officially, but we like each other.”

“So I was right?”

Liam pulled his shirt over his head, straightening it out around his upper body. “Fine,” he admitted. “You were right. I should have just told him.”

Mason hummed in delight and lay back down, hands folded around the back of his head. “Oh yeah.”

Liam chuckled, shaking his head, before walking back to the door. “Bye,” he called over his shoulder.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“Scott and I are sleeping downstairs,” Liam answered, quickly running out of the bedroom, but he could still hear Mason’s laughter in the hallway.

Back downstairs, Scott had also taken the quilt from his bed. Technically, it was only for one person, but when they crawled under it both boys found that they fit perfectly. The heat that came from the fire was warming Liam’s back as he was lying on his side, looking up at Scott.

“This is nice,” he commented.

Scott hummed, staring up at the ceiling.

“You okay?” Liam asked, because Scott wasn’t making any attempt to wrap his arm around the boy, which was sad, because Liam had enjoyed being nestled against Scott’s body.

“Yeah, fine,” Scott answered.

Liam smirked. “You didn’t ask me why I thought you weren’t.”

Scott looked at him for a moment, not understanding, but then his face relaxed and he chuckled. “Look who has been paying attention during my classes.”

Liam chuckled, before his smile faded again. “So what are you thinking about?”

“About what you said earlier, outside,” Scott answered with a deep sigh. “About confusing you.”

“What about it?”

Scott went back to staring at the ceiling. “What did I do to confuse you?” he asked.

Liam thought for a while. He didn’t want to make Scott feel guilty or like he was blaming him for everything that had happened. After all, it had just been a misunderstanding. If Liam had told Scott about his feelings for him early on, everything would have turned out better.

“I think I just...” he started. “I mean, because I like you, I think I just interpreted all the signs wrong. I mean, you’re a very affectionate person; you hug people, you’re not afraid of touching someone, so I think I just got confused about whether what you were doing was platonic or flirty.”

“Do you think I’m inappropriate with my friends sometimes?”

Liam understood why Scott asked that, because that was what he had made it sound like. But funnily enough, thinking about it now, even though it had caused a lot of confusion, Liam found he couldn’t blame Scott for that.

“No,” he therefore denied. “You’re just very nice and very comfortable around people, which isn’t a bad thing.”

Scott sighed. “It is when I confuse people.”

Liam’s eyebrows knitted together. He had never heard Scott be so negative before. They had never had a good heart to heart – at least not one about Scott’s feelings.

“But that was just me,” said Liam. “And, you said I was sending you mixed signals as well, so it’s not your fault.”

Scott finally turned his head, a small smile splayed across his lips. “You’re really sweet,” he said.

Liam’s eyes widened, fuzzy warmth spreading around his chest. He glanced away shyly, lightly shrugging off Scott’s compliment. Scott probably noticed his blushing, because he stuck his arm out from under the quilt and wrapped it around Liam’s shoulders. Liam laid his head on Scott’s chest, watching the paper snowflakes he had made at the start of the weekend in front of the window. It reminded him that nothing had changed, but then again everything had. It was weird how you could get so sucked up into your own little bubble and feel like the world is falling apart, completely failing to notice that, actually, the world had been the same all along – just covered in snow and ice, maybe.

Goosebumps ran across Liam’s body. His stomach grumbled.

“Hungry?” Scott asked, but then he seemed to remember something and he rose. “Of course you’re hungry! You didn’t eat anything at dinner!”

Liam hadn’t really noticed it before, but thinking about it now, he was starving.

“Come on,” Scott said, kicking off the quilt. “I’ll make you some food.”

“Scott, you really don’t have to-”

“It’s fine, I want to have a snack anyway,” he admitted, already getting up and heading into the kitchen.

Liam chuckled and shook his head at his friend.

Scott had pulled out a pan from the cupboard – Liam looked around the clean kitchen guiltily, for his friends apparently had taken care of that as well after his outburst – and got out some cheese and bread.

“I make a mean grilled cheese sandwich,” Scott said, firing up the stove.

Liam smiled, leaning against the kitchen counter, arms crossed in front of his chest. A sudden question formed in his conscience. An uncomfortable one that, if he asked it, he knew would make him feel bad, but nevertheless he felt obligated to ask.

“So what happened after I stormed off?”

Scott was putting cheese on the slices of bread. “We had dinner,” he answered, not asking Liam if he really wanted to know, which somehow felt good. As if Scott wasn’t going to keep the truth from him, but was also going to explain the situation with such casualness that it would keep Liam’s emotions intact. “Don’t worry, we only had the things that were edible-” It didn’t meant he wasn’t going to tease a little- “And Mason explained how nervous you had been about this whole weekend.”

“Did he say something about you?”

Scott shook his head. “Nah, he would never do that,” he answered, and even though had figured as much, the confirmation was nice. “Anyway, we all cleaned up afterwards. Lydia and Malia did the floor, and when I was in the kitchen doing the dishes with Stiles, Kira came up to me with hot cocoa, and said it’d be best if I went outside and try and talk to you.”

Liam was surprised by that. He hadn’t expected Kira to be to the one to initiate that.

Scott put the sandwiches in the pan and turned to look at Liam. “She knew, didn’t she?” he asked.

“She guessed it,” Liam answered.

Scott nodded. “I thought about it while we were watching the movie. It made sense. After all, I had done the same to her at one point.”

Liam shifted his weight onto his other leg. “What do you mean?”

“I led her on, too,” Scott answered.

“Scott, you didn’t lead-”

“But I did,” Scott interrupted him. “You call it confusing you, but ultimately it’s leading someone on. It’s my biggest flaw.”

Liam’s lips formed a thin line.

“And you thought I didn’t have any,” Scott said, smiling, going back to his sandwiches.

Liam closed the distance between them and put a hand on Scott’s back, rubbing his spine. He could feel Scott sigh.

“I never thought that me being nice to people would result in me toying with their feelings,” Scott said quietly.

“Well...” Liam said. “It’s not like you do it on purpose.”

“I don’t,” Scott quickly affirmed. “I just...it’s always just been my mom and me, you know? And when I met Stiles, he was added. Then I realised that Stiles also only had his dad. It feels like...it’s like we both have these small, broken families.” He shook the pan. “I guess that’s why my friends are so important to me, because they’re my family. I love having people around me, but very often it’s just me, so when I finally am around them, I make sure they feel appreciated.”

“Do you feel like if you don’t, they’ll leave you?”

Scott shrugged. “My dad left,” he stated matter-of-factly. “But sometimes people don’t leave on purpose...”

Liam understood Scott was referring to Allison. He wrapped his arms around the guy’s waist and pressed his cheek against his back.

“No one is going anywhere,” he reassured him. “And I’m not mad at you either.”

Scott turned around in his arms and hugged him back. They stood there, in the kitchen, embracing each other for a while, the sizzling pan the only sound in the room. Liam rubbed Scott’s back soothingly.

“I’m sorry I led you on,” Scott muttered on his shoulder.

“It’s okay,” Liam said. “Let’s focus on the now.”

Scott nodded, slowly letting go off Liam. “You’re right,” he said, smiling again. “And now, you’re hungry, and I made grilled cheese sandwiches.” He turned off the stove.

“Mean ones,” Liam reminded him.

Scott chuckled. “Exactly.”

They ate them in the kitchen, before going back to bed. When they had lay back down, Liam asked Scott why he and Kira had broken up.

Scott thought for a while. “We didn’t break up because we didn’t love each other, you know,” he explained. “It was just... Kira is great. She is mature, responsible, sweet. She’s got her stuff together and she knows what she wants, which is are all great qualities.”

“But...” Liam mumbled, his head falling down along with Scott’s deep breath.

“It just didn’t work for me,” Scott said. “She was too perfect. I need someone who isn’t perfect. Someone with a little baggage and stuff.”

Liam looked up. “So you like me because I’m a train wreck?”

Scott chuckled. “No, of course not,” he answered. “I like you because you’re not better than me. You know, I feel like we’re equals. With Kira...with Kira I was always a little unsure, because I felt like she deserved someone better than me.”

“Did she agree?” Liam asked.

Scott shook his head. “Of course she didn’t agree. She thought we were great together, which we were, but I just couldn’t shake that feeling that I constantly needed to impress her. Every time she did something sweet for me, I felt the need to do something bigger and better back.”

Liam hummed to show that he was listening, but he wasn’t sure if he liked what he was hearing.

“It probably sounds really harsh,” Scott admitted. “But that’s why we broke up, and why we were still able to stay friends. If you think about it, it’s a blessing, really. How many exes stay friends with each other? But we could, because we loved each other, but knew we didn’t fit.”

“Do you think we fit?” Liam of course wanted to know.

Scott chuckled. “I tend to see love like pieces of a puzzle. You know, we all have things we’re good at, which stick out, and we all have flaws, which are gaps inside of us. I think I fit with someone when what they lack is something I fill, and where I have a gap, they fill that gap up.”

Liam’s heart jumped. “Do I fill the hole in your heart?” he asked.

He could tell Scott was holding his breath. He peeked down at Liam, eyebrows knitted together.

“I noticed when we were sat around the campfire that night,” Liam explained.

Scott nodded slowly.

“You fill mine,” Liam then continued hesitatingly. “You’re patient and you don’t judge me when I punch a tree...”

Finally, Scott’s lips broke into a smile. “I would never,” he assured him, kissing the top of Liam’s head.

It made Liam feel safe, and warm, and suddenly he had this undeniable need to be closer to Scott, so he tentatively slid a hand under Scott’s pyjama shirt, feeling his warm stomach rise and fall.

“I think we fit,” Scott said softly.

Liam smiled, stroking Scott’s soft skin. He nuzzled a little closer, but then picked up his head and stared into Scott’s eyes. They moved closer together and Liam huffed out a deep, content breath through his nose when his lips locked with Scott’s.

The following morning, Scott and Liam woke up to the faint sound of giggling in the distance. They had stayed up talking almost all night and only went to sleep in the morning. When Liam opened his eyes and five faces were staring and smiling down at him, he groaned, pulling the covers up over his face.

“Good morning guys,” he heard Scott mumble cheerily. “Wanna join us?”

Liam rolled his eyes and poked Scott’s side, making him squirm.

The gang had breakfast afterwards. They were mostly quiet, as if they were mourning the loss of time that had inevitably swallowed their weekend. But they all had content smiles on their faces. At least it had been worth their while, and Liam realized he finally didn’t think Christmas was as bad anymore after all.

After breakfast, they all helped to put the lake house back to its original state; cleaning and taking down the lights and ornaments that they had made. They packed, and Scott and Liam stood outside, watching Stiles load the last of their things into the jeep. The boys had their arm around each other, and Scott looked down.

“Maybe next year we can make our own Christmas traditions,” he said.

Liam smiled up at him, pecking a kiss onto his lips.

“I’d like that.”


End file.
